It will take too long....

The last couple days, as I have been going about my regular business, in the back of my brain, thoughts from the Excuses Begone are still percolating around. What came to the fore today is the thought that Mindful Eating, as a weight loss tool, will take too long.

The other day, I wrote a post about Magic Beans -- those quick fixes -- emphasis on the quick -- we all want to be the weight we want to be and we want to get there yesterday!

Last week, I had a conversation with a client, who had decided he couldn't put the energy into learning to eat mindfully while he was overweight. He decided he wanted to lose the weight in the fashion he was successful in the past. Once the weight was off, he would learn the mindful skills to keep it off.

But what about those of us who don't start to get the weight off because it is going to take too long??

I liked Wayne Dyer's answer to that statement:

An entertaining psychiatrist named Dr. Murray Banks does just that with the following little exchange between himself and a woman who has decided not to return to school because she’d be too old when she finished.

“How old would you be in five years if you got that degree by starting now?” he asks her.
“Forty-nine,” she replies.
“And how old will you be in five years if you don’t go back to school?”
“Forty-nine,” she answers, with the bewildered confusion of becoming conscious of making an excuse for not elevating her life.

However long it took you to create any self-defeating habit, you did it all one day, one moment at a time. There’s absolutely no proof that anything will take a long time, since even the idea of “a long time” is an illusion—there is only now.

Make this awareness a part of your consciousness. The Tao Te Ching reinforces this in perhaps the most famous line in that masterful work:

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Elevate or move on in your life, not by thinking big and in long time periods, but with consciousness focused on the present moment.

Excuses Begone

Okay -- I tried and tried to get away from this subject this morning -- but everything in the Universe is pointing me in this direction. So...here we go...

Yesterday, I watched the Wayne Dyer special on PBS entitled "Excuses Begone". It was really interesting. He said a lot of things but essentially it came down to the only thing that is holding me back from doing anything, are the excuses I make for myself not doing those things.

One of the action oriented activities he gave the viewers was:

A. to realize that if the tape in your head says you can't lose weight, to ask yourself if you are absolutely 100% sure this is true. Is it? NO! I bet your are not 100% convinced this isn't possible or why would you be reading this blog??

Okay -- so it is not 100% impossible to lose weight -- are you 100% certain you will lose weight? Probably not that, either.

So...if you are equally not sure about either outcome, why do you spend sooooo much time and energy dwelling on the negative outcome when the positive outcome is equally as viable AND it will make you feel better???

(Changing your perspective)


B. Visualize yourself at your perfect weight. Create a picture in your head of how you would look if you were at your perfect weight. When you get that picture in your head, pay attention to how you feel. Are you excited? Relived? Feel free? Whatever it is -- feel how it would feel to live at that weight. Then, every night, right before you go to sleep, repeat this exercise with special emphasis on feeling what you feel living at that weight.

It will help you to seek out those same good feeling during the day while you are making your eating decisions. You will eat less and feel good about the choices you make. Not as punishment but as nurturing choices for yourself. You will move yourself in the direction of your vision.

Almost everything I have read in the last two days has talked about creating a vision for yourself. I will leave you with the last quote that was sent to me today.

"Whatever you dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now." --Goethe

Labor Day

"Traditionally, Labor Day is celebrated by most Americans as the symbolic end of the summer. The holiday is often regarded as a day of rest and parades. "

Ahhhh...the end of summer -- the start of school for those kids here in Michigan.

Starting a new phase, starting a new school year. Perfect time to take a few minutes and figure out your SMART goal.

Last Friday, I linked you to a page that examined what a SMART goal was. Did you read it? Did you think about it? And finally, did you set down and write it out -- on paper -- and put it somewhere you can be reminded of what you are trying to do and why you are trying to do it --- EVERYDAY???

If the goal is to keep an food journal 5 out of every 7 days, have you put the journal somewhere you see it? Is it on your desk at work to remind you to write in it directly after lunch?

If your goal is to eat to a level 8 five out of 7 nights at dinner -- do you have something sitting on your table or kitchen counter to remind you this is what you are working to accomplish?

Today is the day to set the stage for your success. But you have to know what success is going to look like first. Take the time TODAY to sit down and get to the heart of why you want to lose weight and create a goal to get you where you want to go.

Change

So this is what I have learned about change:

Most of the time it is a challenge.

Sometimes (even if it is good change) it is scary.

And it never happens as fast as I want it to.

Anything you pick to change in your life is going to require extra energy from you. And there is always that small (and sometimes naggingly loud voice) that says the change will not be successful.

Does that mean I shouldn't attempt a change that is meaningful to me?

No way!

But we do need to recognize that the fear of failure when embarking on a weight loss program is so common, I cannot think of a single one of my clients that hasn't expressed fear at the thought of not being able to lose weight. I have lots of clients get frustrated from time to time that the process they are embarking on is taking longer than they want it to and requiring more brain space than they're used to expending.

This is why having a SMART goal is so very helpful. It gives you a measuring stick to see your progress. Even though you might not have hit your target weight yet, if you are trending that direction, that indicates progress. If you are hitting your weekly goals (drink 8 glasses of water per day / cut morning soda intake in half / etc) these will help you mark your progress and quiet the negative voices in your head.

Don't know what a SMART goal is?? We can talk about that one on Monday :)

The Tyranny of the OR

I was recently reading the book Built to Last --successful habits of visionary companies by James Collins and Jerry Porras when I came across a section entitled "The Tyranny of the Or".

Their thoughts (being a book about successful businesses) is that successful businesses have shifted their perspective from:

They can have change OR stability.
They can be conservative OR bold.
They can have low cost OR high quality.
They can have creative autonomy OR consistency and control.

To: figuring out how to have "and" instead of "or"s

They can have change AND stability.
They can be conservative AND bold.
They can have low cost AND high quality/
They can have creative autonomy AND consistency and control.


Black and white thinking is easiest -- and since companies (successful or not) are just groups of people (successful or not), we can apply the same thinking to people, as well.

Have you figured out how you can liberate yourself from the tyranny of the OR?

Have you been able to:

Eat the food you love AND lose weight.
Eat when you are hungry AND be guilt-free.
Weigh whatever you weigh right now AND know you are making progress toward your weight goal.

When a person sees only one path or another, life can feel very difficult. Either you are doing what is "right" or what is "wrong". Diets are like this -- you are either "on" your diet or you are "off" your diet. If you fall off the wagon at lunch, chances are you will scrub the diet for the day and start again tomorrow ... or the next day...or next week...

When you reframe your thinking to add "AND"s into your thought process, you can open up how you choose to look at the world. Pancakes and syrup for breakfast doesn't mean you are "off" your diet. It means you decided to have pancakes and syrup for breakfast AND you will make a decision about lunch in a few hours.

Magic bean

Talk to almost anyone about almost anything and what you will find is that to one extent or another, we all want Magic Beans.

Cholesterol high -- take this pill.

Out of shape -- buy this piece of equipment.

Looking older -- use this facial cream.

Weight problems -- Atkins, Zone, Mediterranean, Ornish, just eat the right combination of foods for your blood type, bariatric surgry, etc, etc, etc.

Life doesn't come with Magic Beans.

Everything comes with costs. There is no get out of jail free card.

If you want the results, you need to do the work. The question is: What side effects are you willing to endure? How much and what kind of work are you willing to do to acheive your goal? What changes are you willing to make in your habits?

Appreciate the Process

Last week I read the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. (can't say enough good things about this book -- nice, interesting, thought-provoking read)

At one point in the story, the main character meets the Alchemist and asked why he was successful in learning alchemy when so many other were not. The answer given is that the unsuccessful ones only wanted the rewards (gold and eternal life)that come at the end of the process -- they did not understand the true value came in living the pursuit.

This is a distinction worth thinking about.

Do you just want to lose weight? Or do you want to learn more about yourself --

How you handle stress.

How, perhaps, you have gained weight to hide from something else in your life.

How, maybe, you haven't been successful in losing and keeping weight off in the past because one of your "truths" is that you are a person who will always be overweight.

Wouldn't you like managing your weight to be as easy as breathing? It can be if you get to the root cause of the weight gain (trust me, the problem is not found in what you are eating. It is found in why you are eating like you do). Learn to appreciate the process of managing your weight and the weight loss will take care of itself.