Use yourself up

I just read an interesting post from Brooke Castillo's  blog.  She was talking about being a work-horse, "using herself up", and asking the question:

Where did we get the idea that it is good to make very little effort?


Somewhere along the line it seems we have lost sight of the goal of what it means to be alive, to be a contribution.

To me, that means using myself up. It means, when I die, I will have laid it all out.

Not in a struggle, beat myself up kind of way, but in a show up and deliver and love and work like a dog kind of way.

And I'm going to put forth the idea that we all fall into the "it is good to make very little effort" trap sometimes  -- especially with weight management.  We tend to look enviously at those who seem to never have to pay attention to what they eat -- those we never see exercising and stay at a healthy weight.

But you know what??  It's not that easy.  And those that seemingly skate through life still have to work at it some times.   I mean really...do you actually think they aren't struggling with something?  We're all too smart to actually believe that fairy tale, aren't we?

Life is about work -- you might be fortunate enough to enjoy that work most of the time (or maybe you don't )-- but don't kid yourself, it's still work.

Putting the effort into something has value and meaning -- don't sell yourself short. 

....show up and deliver and love and work like a dog!

 (then click on the comments button and share your great work with the rest of us!!)

Brooke Castillo's Conversation

Are you this client?

Overeating

Brooke: What would your life be like if you could only eat when you're hungry?

Client: Horrible. That would suck.

Brooke: Why?

Client: Because when it tastes so good it makes me happy.

Brooke: So, overeating makes you happy?

Client: Yeah. Sometimes.

Brooke: How do you know you are happy when you are overeating?

Client: What do you mean?

Brooke: Are you smiling? Laughing? Feeling joyous inside your body?

Client: Um. No. Actually I think I'm feeling guilty.

Brooke: While you are overeating?

Client: Yeah.

Brooke: So overeating makes you feel guilty? Not happy?

Client: Right. So I guess happy isn't the right word. It comforts me.

Brooke: Overeating comforts you?

Client: Yes. Like when I am out to dinner with friends. Or after a long day of work.

Brooke: So what is comforting about it? Is it physically comfortable when you overeat?

Client: No, not physically. It is actually physically uncomfortable. Emotionally it is comforting.
Brooke: How does overeating emotionally comfort you? How do you know you are comforted?

Client: Well, it feels better than trying not to eat it. Let me put it that way.

Brooke: Ok. So it feels bad not to overeat and it also feels bad to overeat? Is that what you are saying?

Client: It feels bad after I overeat. During it feels good. It tastes good.

Brooke: So when you overeat food that tastes good, you feel good?

Client: Hmmmm. Well I guess not. No. I feel physically uncomfortable, guilty, and kinda anxious while I am doing it-not just after.

Brooke: So, what I hear you saying is that to avoid feeling bad, you eat and feel bad.

Client: (Laughing) Oh my God. Totally!

Brooke: Being unhappy when you aren't eating, doesn't mean you will be happy when you are eating.

Client: Seriously. You're Right! I have been telling myself that the reason I am unhappy is because I can't eat all of it-but that is not true. Because I am unhappy when I do eat all of it!! I am unhappy either way!

Brooke: So maybe overeating isn't the solution. Maybe doing something that feels bad is not the solution to not feeling bad.

Client: But I can't help it.

Brooke: But maybe the reason you haven't been able to help it is because you have been believing the lie that overeating makes you feel good. And when I ask you to give up overeating, you are telling yourself that you will have to feel bad and give up feeling good. But really, you aren't giving up feeling good. Overeating doesn't really feel good to you. In fact, you know that if you start off feeling unhappy and you add extra food and weight to your body, you will feel worse.

Increasing the problem to relieve your feelings about the problem doesn't make much sense, right?

Client: Wait a minute. So what you are saying is that the reason I overeat is because I have been telling myself it feels better than not overeating? AND THAT HAS BEEN A LIE?? I can see it's a lie now, but seriously, how could I not see that before?

Brooke: You weren't looking for it. You were overeating instead. Overeating pulls you away from yourself. It is the opposite of awareness.

Client: So overeating, in the moment I am doing it, feels as bad as not overeating?! And the only reason I didn't know that is because I was lying to myself about it? I was not paying attention to the fact that I wasn't feeling good as I was doing it. I was telling myself that it felt good and made me happy to overeat? And that's why I couldn't stop myself?

Brooke: Yes.

What would your life be like if you could only eat when you were hungry?

It was just too apt of a comparison to pass up....

I just read this on Brooke Castillo's Blog. It is dead on, amusing and made me smile -- hope it does the same for you :)


How Not to Lose Your Mind
Keep an eye on it.


If you don't want to lose something, you pay attention to what it is doing.


Toddlers for example. (A perfect example for most minds too.)


You have to watch where they run off to. What trouble they want to get into. Stuff they want to put into their mouths. And what things they keep going back to-like the pool.


Your mind is the same way. You need to watch what it's thinking. What it is running off with. What it is believing. What lies it is telling you. And what it wants you to put into your mouth.

Ignore a toddler by distracting yourself with something else, and you are asking for trouble.


At the very least you are going to lose them and have to go looking.


Ignore your mind for long enough and you might end up saying, "I am losing my mind!"


But the truth is, if you are saying that -it's already lost.


Go find it. And then keep an eye on it.