Hi, all! Here is an email I received the other day -- I thought y'all might enjoy reading what Matt from Fear.less (a fantastic ezine, has to say about Big, Bold Moves! Enjoy!
.....It's easy to get impatient on your quest to be fearless. You read the books and
the magazines, you feel pumped up and ready for action, and then you wake up
the next morning and things are pretty much the same. When you're impatient
and want to shake things up, you begin to think about doing something Big. Big
things are deliberate, autonomy-assuring actions that change your daily life:
quitting your job, moving to another country, going back to university, that sort of
thing. Maybe you have friends who are doing something big, or you saw a movie
or read a Fear.less story where someone did something you think is big and it
worked out for them.
Humans like big, bold moves because they are flashy and they can be indefinitely
postponed. Sometimes they are even useful. But flash can be illusive. Everyone
knows an attractive person who is unkind to others, or a person who flaunts their
material wealth but is actually in debt from poor money management. This is a
similar thing. It's an alluring but incomplete narrative.
Our contributors always talk about baby steps, little things, small victories. These
phrases are not as sexy as the idea of a strong, independent man or woman telling
his or her stuffy corporate boss to shove it and then starting a new life. But they
are important. They're not called baby steps just because babies take them, but
because babies need them to learn to walk. You have to gradually build up to a
wholesome, satisfying level of courage and mindfulness. If you could do it
overnight, everyone would.
I would never discourage anyone outright from making a massive life-changing
decision. That would be tyrannical. But you have to develop a knowledge of the truth
that rises above the romance of the situation and be able to say that yes, this gives
me what I need for these reasons, and I will be able to handle it because I've been
working on myself in these ways. The problems and resistance at the core of your
being will follow you to any job and any city. No matter how much money or how
many friends you end up making, you will have to live with yourself your whole life.
And you know better than anyone that you can be pretty brutal to yourself.
Sometimes big brash impulsive decisions are survivable. Then again, you probably
know someone who totally has an uncle that, like, didn't wear his seatbelt and got
into a real bad car accident, and walked away.
"Following your dreams" and "doing what you need to do" are super cool, but you
also need to respect yourself enough to 1) scrutinize the narratives you're fed, no
matter the source and 2) make an honest attempt to know, accept and live with
yourself. You deserve no less than the best, right? Life is tricky because being both
short and fragile, you have to push it to the limit while also handling with care.
It is possible, though. Our contributors all manage it; it's so counter-intuitive, it's kind
of poetic. Are you up for the challenge of blending drastic with diligent, style with
substance, symphony with silence?