There are more mirrors than ever.....

sometimes what's missing is the willingness to look.  --Seth Godin

It's always interesting talking about mirrors in the context of weight management -- most of the time, it's a fast track to getting people defensive.  That's not what I'm talking about here....relax your shoulders :)

When you click over to Seth's post, you will see that he is not talking about literal mirrors but the figurative ones we use to see ourselves.  There are more tools than ever to see, track, record, interpret what we do.

The Eating journal clients use is just one.  There are lots of iPhone apps -- ones especially made to journal hunger and fullness.  There are blogs, websites, forums, live group classes both in person and via the web.  There is no shortage of resources to gain a greater understanding of our current relationship with food.

But most of the clients (or potential clients) I talk to tell me they already know what they are doing wrong.  Have you ever said that to someone?  You know all about yourself, you just can't change.

Maybe that is absolutely true.  But maybe you just don't want to do the work it takes to really understand what drives you to eat (and when....and how much). 

We're a species that likes to run on autopilot because that helps us be more efficient and get more done.  For things like parking my car at work (and finding it when I get out), autopilot works just fine.  If we had to work as hard to find food as we did even 150 years ago, autopilot would work just fine too.  But we don't.

3-4 times as much food as we actually need is delivered to us each time we go out to eat.  Literally, 3-4 times.  And Americans spend  more than 50% of their food budget per year eating out.  When food is that easy to come by -- autopilot and assumptions about how much and what kinds of foods we need to feel physically and emotionally satisfied will get us to where we (as a nation) are:  overweight, obese and less satisfied with ourselves and our relationship with food than ever.

In our pursuit of ease and efficiency, we've lost our way to health and comfort.

Find a mirror that works for you -- and use it!!

Back to basics -- Lucky Number 7

So...the magic number 7.

Yesterday, I said that 7 is the trickiest but possibly the most useful number on the scale. Here is why...

When you are physically hungry and start to eat, there is a space in time when you have eaten enough calories that the physical hunger is gone but you have no sense of fullness.

A good example of this is if you have ever run home to pick up the kids before heading out to some kind of kid activity and grabbed an apple off the counter. Before you start eating, you are at a level 3. You eat the apple (one of the smaller apples not the ones the size as your head)and when you are done, you are no longer hungry -- but you have no sense of fullness either. The reason you stopped eating was probably because the apple was gone -- had there been more, chances are you would have eaten more. But there wasn't, so you didn't.

Maybe you haven't ever paid attention to what that feels like but trust me -- it is possible, as you are eating a meal, to notice that you are no longer physically hungry and not full either.

The reason it is helpful to recognize a 7 is that if you are eating something that has no value to you (for me, an example is boxed mac and cheese -- gross but it takes care of the hunger). I do not want to spend my precious, hard-earned calories on boxed mac and cheese -- sometimes, it is necessary to eat it (if the kids cook it)to get rid of the hunger -- but I don't want to fill up on it!

Recognizing when hunger is gone, gives you one more opportunity to stop eating if the goal is just to get rid of the hunger.

Back to basics -- the middle

The last couple posts, we have been talking about the Hunger/Fullness Scale. We have covered both ends but how about the middle?


One of the questions I get asked ALOT is, "Do you expect me to only eat when I am hungry?"

NO! In our culture, there are any number of reasons to eat -- one of them is for the physical body but a great many of them social (think birthday parties, wakes, business lunches, graduation parties... Not to mention because you are happy, sad, stressed, angry -- need I say more?)

What I am asking you to do is be able to accurately label your experience. Be able to understand why you are about to do what you are about to do. That way, if you want to make a change -- you are working with all of the available information.

So...the middle of the scale.

4 5 6 Trigger Eating

Eating for any reason other than physical hunger!!!!!

I use these three numbers all as one (456 instead of 4,5,6)

Trigger eating is eating for any reason other than physical hunger. (Bored, sad, etc but also because it is noon and that is lunch time even though you aren't really hungry, the piece of pie your neighbor offers when you go over to visit, the obligatory appetizer when you are out with friends)

Sometimes, clients get a little nervous about "admitting" to a 456. There is nothing wrong with eating for reasons other than hunger!! What I am asking you to do is understand this is your behavior -- learn to differentiate trigger eating from physical hunger.

The last number on the scale is a level 7. It is the trickiest but possibly the most useful number on the whole scale. More on the virtues of the 7 tomorrow.

Back to basics part 2

Yesterday, we talked about the fullness side of the Hunger/Fullness Scale. But what if you are the person who never really gets full and is constantly snacking?

Let's look at the hunger side of the equation.

0 Extremely Hungry

• Physically sick, nauseous from not eating

1 Very Hungry

• Need to eat is very strong, may be light headed

2 Hungry

• Sense of emptiness or hollowness in stomach

3 Physically Hungry

• The first sensations of physical hunger but you are in charge and can start planning what you are going to eat

The most important thing to remember is that we are talking about physical hunger. If you ask yourself if you are physically hungry and you have to stop to think about it -- you probably aren't! Physical hunger is like a light switch -- you either are or you aren't -- there isn't a kind of.

Often, I have started coaching a client only to have had them call me a few days in and tell me they didn't realize they haven't felt physical hunger in years. With all of the available food around all of the time, many clients never wait to eat until they are physically hungry.

The goal I set for a client is to start making a plan for what they are going to eat and how full they they want to feel when they reach a level 3. At a 3, you are still very much in charge of your ability to make positive decisions for yourself. You could still safely make it through the grocery store checkout line without adding a couple candy bars into the cart ("Don't put those into the bag, please -- I will just put them here in my purse")

If you don't eat when you started to feel the first sensations of hunger, your hunger will become more intense over time. (this differs from cravings -- more on that in a later post). Once you start getting into the level 2 and 1, your ability to make decisions on what and how much to eat diminishes. You run the risk of getting so hungry that you get more full than you intended to.

Tomorrow, we will cover the center of the scale (456).

Back to basics part 1

The Hunger - Fullness Scale

Here is a post written quite a while ago.  For those having read it before, hopefully it will be a refresher.  And for those new here, some instruction on using the H-F scale to help you create a vocabulary of fullness and learn to reidentify with what your body is telling you.

......Yesterday, I talked about not getting uncomfortably full -- ever. Simple enough in concept. How are you going to make that happen in practice?

One easy way to start this process it to understand how to use a hunger/fullness scale (think a 0-10 scale -- hunger 0-3 and fullness 8-10). For the sake of a starting point, let's start on the fullness side.

8 Full

• You feel the first sensations of fullness
• Anytime you have any sensation of anything in your stomach you are at least an 8!!!

9 Very Full

• Your stomach is starting to stretch

10 Extremely Full

• There is a large enough volume to cause the stomach to feel significantly stretched

 One of the ways to think about fullness is to visualize a balloon.

 When you have gotten the balloon out of the package and put the first small breath of air into it and it has started to take shape, that is a level 8. The sides of the balloon haven't started to stretch but there is something in there.

After you put another small breath of air into the balloon, the walls will start to stretch -- when the stretch happens, that is the level 9.

With the next small breath of air, the balloon will be an entirely different size than it started out -- this is the level 10.

At a level 8, chances are you will still feel like you should/could/want to eat more. But the thing to keep in mind is the physical sensation of hunger is gone. Eating after that point is just for your head -- your body is taken care of.

The advantage of having scale numbers to write down in your journal is that you can't argue with them. If your goal at the beginning of the meal is to eat until you reach a level 8 -- you can eat to that level and then stop. If you are relying words to describe how full you are, there is some wiggle room for the extra bite (or 3)that your head wants to experience.

And remember:

The whole point of being Mindful in your eating, is to cut out a few bites so you can lose weight while still enjoying the foods you love.

Hunger

Last night I was hungry -- and lazy --  and didn't want to get up from where I was and go to the kitchen to make something to eat because I was tired.

It got me thinking that sometimes we forget what hunger is.  Hunger is your body telling you it needs calories right now -- otherwise, it is going to have to take energy out of storage to meet its needs.

If you are trying to lose weight, you are going to need to feel hunger (at least once in a while) and make peace with the feeling. I am not talking about being so starving you are going to fall over or hungry enough to feel sick -- we are talking about being willing to let yourself feel hunger and not do anything to change it.

I read somewhere recently that Americans would rather deal with the long-term discomfort of being overweight than feel the short-term discomfort of hunger.  Why is that?  What does hunger feel like to you?  Could a level 3 hunger become the comforting feeling that you are losing weight?

"Healthy Options"

It is no wonder we are struggling with our weight. I just read that half of an Americans food dollars are spent on food prepared outside the home. Nothing wrong with that -- I love eating out. But...when we have been taught that we should "Eat Healthy" and that is the only skill we have when eating out -- things get a little more tricky.

That for example the Applebee's Oriental Chicken Salad -- I was actually surprised the regular size portion only has 709 calories in it -- not bad but if you are working off the idea that you are getting a salad so you are being health conscious maybe this isn't the salad for you.

Or what about the Panera Full Sierra Turkey on Focaccia with Asiago Cheese (at 970 cals) or the Full Salmon Club Croissant (at 770 cals). Turkey? Salmon? We "know" these are "good" choices for us!! There is nothing wrong with these foods -- the portions are just way too big!! But if our main tool to evaluate our choices is "healthy options" we are going to be lead astray.

Getting back to hunger and fullness. Have you ever eaten one of these items? They are BIG! If is finished one, I would be STUFFED -- a total 10 on the H/F scale. But the idea is that it is easy to order just one -- it takes more work to order a half of a one (mostly because we tend to be worried about being hungry when we finish with the half -- so we order the whole -- promising ourselves we are not going to eat the other half -- and then poof! the whole thing is gone without us even realizing it).

The more you develop your skill of listening to your body and registering your sensations of hunger and fullness, the less you will have to rely on your skills of making "healthy" choices. So if the Panera French Onion soup sounds GREAT, you won't have to tell yourself "no, it is not a healthy choice" -- you can tell yourself "yes" and just eat until it no longer tastes fantastic (then take the rest home).

Do something Friday

Are you journaling?

Most of my clients wrinkle their noses at the idea of writing down everything that goes into their mouths -- "It's too much of a pain in the neck" they say.

But really, that is the point. If you are going to eat 3 pretzels from the break table but then you know you are going to have to go write them down, it tests your commitment to how badly you want those pretzels. If they aren't worth the effort of writing them down in the journal, you probably don't want them that badly in the first place.

You don't have to weigh or measure either.

Grab a notepad and write down the time you are eating, what you ate, whether you were physically hungry when you started eating and how full you were when you got done. Your goal is to do this as close to the time that you eat as possible. People are notoriously bad at remembering all of the little bites they took during the day if they journal for the whole day at the end of the day.

That's it. Not rocket science and it will give you all of the information you need to know to help you eliminate the calories that aren't adding value to your life and lose weight without feeling deprived.

How much do you need to reduce your intake??

If you reduce the amount of food you eat per day by 9 bites (think about it -- that is just 3 bites per meal), you will have saved enough calories in a week to lose a 1/2-1 pound in a week.

Can you be happy eating 9 bites per day less?

Hungry....

We talk a lot about what not to eat. We get rewarded for what doesn't go into our mouths. But every once in a while, I like to put the reminder out there.....

Mindful eating is about understanding and respecting both when you are full (the usual emphasis) but also when you are hungry.

Case in point:

The other day, I was back at my fav Mexican restaurant for tacos and chips. I started the trip over by asking "Am I physically hungry or just bored?" The answer was a resounding "I am PHYSICALLY hungry".

When I got there, I ordered my usual (minus the Coke -- there will be Coke aplenty at upcoming events -- plus, one of my daughters just launched into an infomercial like schpeal about the effects of soda acid on teeth ... thus positive peer pressure to nix the soda). The usual is 2 tacos -- one veggie and one chicken. They deliver the little basket of chips and the fresh salsa while I wait -- yum!

The tacos got there pretty quick and they were delicious! When I finished the last bite of the second taco, I was still physically hungry! I don't know why -- it was weird and unnerving. Usually that much food is either perfect or too much -- I have never had it be too little.

There were still some chips left in the basket. I could have eaten those but they really didn't sound great. I wanted another taco. After a little debate (and time to see if the fullness signals kicked in) I ordered and ate another whole taco.

I don't know what was up with that whole situation but I can assure you I was hungry.

It sometimes takes a strong desire to look past the immediate gratification of eating to lose weight but if you are losing weight mindfully, you need to be prepared for the odd increases in hunger that sometimes happen. I am not telling you you should eat the third taco all of the time -- just be aware of what your body is telling you so you don't spend the afternoon searching for food and wondering what is wrong with you.

Is Mindful Eating a Free Pass?

I have talked in the past about diet rules and how they provide structure to a program. They provide a box for you to stay inside of. Sometimes, that is a nice, safe feeling -- for a while anyway.

So where is the box when you are trying to eat mindfully? Clients, in the past, have sometimes mistaken me when I say "Eat what sounds great!" for "Eat as much as you want of whatever you want and you will still lose weight". This is not the case.

The box with mindful eating is that you are reconnecting with your sensations of hunger and fullness. And learning to differentiate between physical hunger and trigger eating. Saying no to yourself when you feel the urge to trigger eat (in response to stress, let's say) can be a very empowering thing. It is your higher self taking action and moving you in the direction you want to go.

Now, as far as the eat whatever sounds great, the box is that you have to be paying attention and eat the smallest amount that gives you the greatest amount of pleasure. Let's be honest, how often do you eat just one Hershey's Kiss? One CAN be enough IF you are paying attention to the texture, flavor and aroma --not just popping it in, chewing like a fiend and looking for the next one before the first one is totally swallowed.

It takes real work to learn to pay attention. It doesn't just happen. If you are eating mindfully, you can eat anything you want but that freedom comes with the responsibility to pay attention through the whole process -- and not overeat!

Reducing Friction

More thoughts on Leo's post from yesterday's ZenHabits.

Reducing friction --

Yesterday we talked about Done. But how do we get to Done. Leo suggests reducing friction. Now...I have had some hours to think about this and this is what I have come up with.

Friction occurs when your desire to listen your hunger/fullness (H/F) signals is in conflict with the desire to eat a Big Bag of M&M's or potato chips or _________(insert food of choice).

How do we reduce (notice we didn't say eliminate) friction in this example?

Make the trigger foods inconvenient. If you can mindlessly down a whole bag of chips while watching Dancing with the Stars, get them out of your house. This doesn't mean you can't ever have them -- just make them harder to get. If you really want them, you have to be committed to driving to the store to get them -- fine -- you put the thought into it -- you really want them -- eat the whole bag -- but make a conscious decision and then put the work in to get them.

I have told this story before but for those of you that haven't heard it...
I realized some years ago that I am not disciplined enough, mature enough ... something, to have Girl Scout cookies in my house. I will eat them -- all of them -- lickety split. Stick them in the freezer, you say? Nope...just makes them better. Every time I move from one room to another, it is via the kitchen until the cookies are gone. Can't help it -- it is just the way I am. But...I can't eat 12 or 15 boxes of cookies like that and expect not to gain some weight. My solution? Buying the cookies (like normal)but then boxing them up and taking them to a friend's house. She stores them for me and doles them out in a reasonable fashion. Weird? Yes. But does it work? Yup. Makes me work harder for something I love to eat -- plus, it is embarrassing to go over there 4 times a day to ask for a new box.

Maybe you need to have your food of choice on hand, for some reason. Take, for instance, the holiday baking you do at Christmas time. You enjoy doing the baking. You have to have the baked goods on hand so you can bring them to parties and give them as gifts. But then what to do with them after they are done, before you can give them away, and while they are calling your name every minute you are home?

How about storing your tempting foods in the basement or garage? The key is to put them out of your normal path of vision. Trigger eating happens when we become aware the foods are there ... just waiting to be eaten. Either don't buy those foods or keep them out of sight. They will call to you less if you can't see them.

That is the whole point of the dieting tip of not going in the kitchen after dinner -- if you can't go into the kitchen, you can't see (or get to) the foods that trigger you.

So this weekend: take a look in your cupboards and pantry. See if your trigger foods are right at eye level -- sitting there calling your name. Move them to a higher shelf, move them to a cupboard or closet that you normally get into. Or (and I am a big fan of this one) clear them out of your house all together -- you can have them...just make yourself work for them.

Hunger/Fullness scale -- last one for now -- I promise

So...the magic number 7.

Yesterday, I said that 7 is the trickiest but possibly the most useful number on the scale. Here is why...

When you are physically hungry and start to eat, there is a space in time when you have eaten enough calories that the physical hunger is gone but you have no sense of fullness.

A good example of this is if you have ever run home to pick up the kids before heading out to some kind of kid activity and grabbed an apple off the counter. Before you start eating, you are at a level 3. You eat the apple (one of the smaller apples not the ones the size as your head)and when you are done, you are no longer hungry -- but you have no sense of fullness either. The reason you stopped eating was probably because the apple was gone -- had there been more, chances are you would have eaten more. But there wasn't, so you didn't.

Maybe you haven't ever paid attention to what that feels like but trust me -- it is possible, as you are eating a meal, to notice that you are no longer physically hungry and not full either.

The reason it is helpful to recognize a 7 is that if you are eating something that has no value to you (for me, an example is boxed mac and cheese -- gross but it takes care of the hunger). I do not want to spend my precious, hard-earned calories on boxed mac and cheese -- sometimes, it is necessary to eat it (if the kids cook it)to get rid of the hunger -- but I don't want to fill up on it!

Recognizing when hunger is gone, gives you one more opportunity to stop eating if the goal is just to get rid of the hunger.

Hunger/Fullness Scale continued

The last couple posts, we have been talking about the Hunger/Fullness Scale. We have covered both ends but how about the middle?

One of the questions I get asked ALOT is, "Do you expect me to only eat when I am hungry?"

NO! In our culture, there are any number of reasons to eat -- one of them is for the physical body but a great many of them social (think birthday parties, wakes, business lunches, graduation parties... Not to mention because you are happy, sad, stressed, angry -- need I say more?)

What I am asking you to do is be able to accurately label your experience. Be able to understand why you are about to do what you are about to do. That way, if you want to make a change -- you are working with all of the available information.

So...the middle of the scale.

4 5 6 Trigger Eating
Eating for any reason other than physical hunger

I use these three numbers all as one (456 instead of 4,5,6)

Trigger eating is eating for any reason other than physical hunger. (Bored, sad, etc but also because it is noon and that is lunch time even though you aren't really hungry, the piece of pie your neighbor offers when you go over to visit, the obligatory appetizer when you are out with friends)

Sometimes, clients get a little nervous about "admitting" to a 456. There is nothing wrong with eating for reasons other than hunger!! What I am asking you to do is understand this is your behavior -- learn to differentiate trigger eating from physical hunger.

The last number on the scale is a level 7. It is the trickiest but possibly the most useful number on the whole scale. More on the virtues of the 7 tomorrow.

Hunger/Fullness scale continued

Yesterday, we talked about the fullness side of the Hunger/Fullness Scale. But what if you are the person who never really gets full and is constantly snacking?

Let's look at the hunger side of the equation.

0 Extremely Hungry
Physically sick, nauseous from not eating

1 Very Hungry
Need to eat is very strong, may be light headed

2 Hungry
Sense of emptiness or hollowness in stomach

3 Physically Hungry
The first sensations of physical hunger but you are in charge and can start planning what you are going to eat

The most important thing to remember is that we are talking about physical hunger. If you ask yourself if you are physically hungry and you have to stop to think about it -- you probably aren't! Physical hunger is like a light switch -- you either are or you aren't -- there isn't a kind of.

Often, I have started coaching a client only to have had them call me a few days in and tell me they didn't realize they haven't felt physical hunger in years. With all of the available food around all of the time, many clients never wait to eat until they are physically hungry.

The goal I set for a client is to start making a plan for what they are going to eat and how full they they want to feel when they reach a level 3. At a 3, you are still very much in charge of your ability to make positive decisions for yourself. You could still safely make it through the grocery store checkout line without adding a couple candy bars into the cart ("Don't put those into the bag, please -- I will just put them here in my purse")

If you don't eat when you started to feel the first sensations of hunger, your hunger will become more intense over time. (this differs from cravings -- more on that in a later post). Once you start getting into the level 2 and 1, your ability to make decisions on what and how much to eat diminishes. You run the risk of getting so hungry that you get more full than you intended to.


Tomorrow, we will cover the center of the scale (456).