Wanted: The Perfect Plan

I just read an interesting NY Times article about how too much information can be a barrier for novice runners.  The first bit that struck me was:

"That response is an indication, exercise researchers say, of two things: how hard it is for someone who is not used to running to suddenly take up the sport; and how unnecessarily complicated advice about running has become as “experts” battle over shoes and running form and training programs."

That got me thinking that even though I love the volume of information now available on an infinite number of subjects -- many common-sensical things are getting lost in the noise.  It seems unlikely now for people to embark on any kind of fitness, diet, or other health improvement without trying to seek out the golden Perfect Plan.

The big problem with that is:  The Perfect Plan doesn't exist.  It seems to me that the search for The Perfect Plan gives you some activity to undertake (the search for The Perfect Plan), which will ultimately fail (because it doesn't exist in the first place) so that you can then say you "tried" to make the said fitness, diet, or other health behavior change ---- without actually putting all that energy into DOING THE WORK OF CHANGING.

"Not my fault," you can honestly say (to yourself but I won't believe it).  "I tried.  This just wasn't The Perfect Plan for me."

Set your sights a tad lower.  You don't need The Perfect Plan.  You just need a Good Enough Plan For Today (FEPT).  A FEPT expires at the end of the day -- so sure, you're going to have to actually get another for tomorrow -- but it has the significant advantage of constantly being fresh and applicable to the circumstances you find yourself it.  They're just so "Now!"

“You have to be more patient than anything you have heard or read about,” Dr. Raglin said. “People are indoctrinated with what they can achieve in a short time with a little bit of work. But the reality is very different.” 

This is advice that, in the article, was meant for those who wanted to start running -- but I think it is applicable across the board -- weight loss, raising a well-adjusted child, creating a career, pretty much anything you think is worth doing is going to take much longer than you think it will (or want it to).

That's no excuse not to start!

A Beacon of Hope

The below is a blog post I ran across yesterday:

Apologies for the continued hiatus

By S.C. Kavassalis
Posted: June 22, 2011

Apologies for the continued and still continuing hiatus, readers. I’m talking time off from school/work/research/blogging and have been for some time now, for those who weren’t aware. I have an unfortunate slew of health issues (auto-immune disease) that I’m dealing with right now and have had to step back from some things to keep the work-life balance in check. Hopefully, I’ll be making my return to blogging (and physics [and health]) soon.

Notice anything interesting?  Here is a person who is (literally) willing to tell the world that she can't do it all all at the same time.  She has things going on right now that require more of her attention and to keep her life in balance, she recognized she needed to make some changes.  AND THEN she actually acted on her self-analysis! 

I hope you take this as the beacon it was for me.  We can't do it all, all of the time.  We make choices about how to balance our lives.  Sometimes, we need to set aside things that are important so we can deal with other things that (right at that particular time in our life) is more important.

We all make choices everyday.  What choices are you making?

Time management vs. Efficiency management

I just read a really thought provoking article about the difference between time management and efficiency management.  I haven't really ever given any thought to the difference.

Essentially, time management is about creating a time slot for a given activity.  In our case, let's say that is the time and space to pay attention to your eating experience.  In the beginning, this time is necessary.  We need time with no distractions so we can concentrate on what signals our body is giving us about our hunger and fullness levels.

Eventually, though, we all want to reach a point where we are efficient with the use of our eating scale.  We don't want to have to set aside time every day, week, or month to sit without distractions to figure out what our bodies are telling us.  We want to be efficient at these skills.  We want to be able to use them while at a table full of our friends or family.  We want to be able to realize we don't want to danish at the business meeting while we are trying to negotiate the best deal for our employer.

The article this morning talked about how much effort the author puts into learning his chosen skills.  Learning by reading, by listening to the audio book, writing about the concept, talking with clients or friends about the concept, trying to implement 2 or 3 of the ideas into his life.  All of this reinforces and deepens the knowledge he is trying to gain.  All of these activities make the knowledge more personal to him.  It causes him to refine his thoughts about the concept and makes it more meaningful for him.

Efficiency is all about becoming so comfortable with a concept that you can do it without it causing great amounts of stress or requiring much thought.  And this is exactly the place my clients want to be with their weight management -- all the benefits without the stress.

I have full faith y'all can get there.  It just takes work......a lot of work.  A lot of dedicated time in the beginning (but not forever).

Are you willing to do what it takes to become efficient?

To infinity....and beyond! (the quickest way to lose heart!)

I distinctly remember the moment when I realized that if I always wanted to maintain my fitness I would need to keep working out....forever.  Depressing.  Especially since I was just finishing a difficult workout and instead of feeling successful I felt exhausted.  At that point, the prospect of future fitness stretched ahead of me like an uncrossable abyss. (It was dismal, I tell ya!)

I hear the same kind of experiences from clients as it relates to their weight management.  Dieting is something that eventually comes to an end.  Weight management is something we all do (for better or for worse) until the end of our days.

What helped me refocus most, after looking at the workouts stretching far into my future (and that was if I was lucky enough to be able to experience those workouts) was to refocus my gaze to the near term.  Setting goals for the next week or the next month seem more do-able than committing to a whole lifetime.  Even workouts for the next month only means 12 or 15 with some interesting bits of activity thrown in as a bonus. 

12 or 15 doesn't sound as intimidating as ....well, infinity.

Same goes for weight management.  If I ever wanted a client to freeze like a deer in headlights -- all I would have to do is encourage them to dwell (even for just a few seconds) and the days, weeks, years, and holidays they are going to have to muddle through to successfully manage their weight.  I'm all for acknowledging reality -- but geesh!  No need to be a glutton for punishment!

Instead, I encourage my clients (and by extension, am encouraging you) to refocus on this next week.  (make it a game if you can!)  How many positive eating decisions would you like to make today?  Pick a number and then keep score.  If you only set your goal at 4 and you make 5 -- double gold star for you!

And the next step -- set a new goal tomorrow.

It's not about getting to perfect -- I will never plan on working out 30 days in one month.  And a person averages 250 eating decisions per day.  250 positive decisions might be a stretch but 5 might be do-able.

The key is to break it down so you can wrap your head around what you're trying to do.  AND THEN DO IT!

Who expects what from you?

From your mom to your best friend to your office mate -- all sorts of people have expectations of you.  Some of those people (your best friend, your significant other...) you choose.  Some of them (your office mate, your mom, your kids...) you don't.  But all of them have expectations of who you are and what you should do.

Ok.  We're going to have to set aside the moms and kids of the world.  You're stuck with them and you won't change them -- so they are a discussion for another day.

Let's focus on the people you are choosing to share your life with.

If it's a given that they have expectations of you (and I think it is), are those expectations pushing you to be the best you you can be?  Or are those expectations letting you sit in run-of-the-mill-is-good-enough land?  Are those the kind of people to best support you in the HUGE change of bringing more mindfulness into your life?

Are you mindfully choosing to spend your time with people who are encouraging you to move out of your comfort zone?  Or are they holding you back and letting you feel good about staying status quo?

You won't get anywhere you choose to be by staying status quo.  The world will move on around you while you stay still -- you will end up somewhere else by default (and it will be a place undetermined by you).

I expect better of you.  I expect you to mindfully and actively choose what you want to eat, how you spend your free time, and who you choose to spend it with.  I expect you to understand you are worth putting the time and effort into.  I expect that you choose to spend your time reading this blog because you see there is a more choice-oriented way to live, you want to live that choice-oriented life, and you need some help.

Good for you!

I expect you to change your choices today to align with your long-term goals -- because I believe you can.

As for the others in your life, you will need to decide how they can best help you forward.  And if they can't?  Maybe you will need to make some different choices about them.

Do something Friday

Make a plan.

By now, you probably have a pretty good idea what your weekend is going to hold.  Yard work, grad parties, a trip to the beach.... whatever it is, that is the context in which you are going to be practicing your mindful eating.

Knowing that means you can make a flexible plan to work on mindfulness in those situations. 

Lawn work and a grad party?  Don't work all day without taking time to eat, only to go to the buffet at the grad party and over eat!  Plan to eat a meal or snack when you get hungry doing yard work so you aren't starving when you're presented with all those available party food options.

Same thing goes for heading to the beach.  Sure, you don't need to reflexively snack on chips all day -- let yourself get hungry but not so starving that when you leave the beach you drive straight to Sherman's and order the biggest ice cream sundae on the menu.  That isn't a good recipe for mindfulness.

In this particular case, failing to plan is the the same as planning to fail. 

Make your plan and take the 2 minutes and write it down!  Handwritten or typed, doesn't matter to me.  Just get it on paper.  It will solidify your weekend plan more than just roughly thinking it in your head as you're reading this post.  Then, once you've got it on paper, take it home tonight and tape it to your bathroom mirror -- just for the weekend.  So you can be reminded of your plan and work to achieve it.

Some days....

Some days there is just no inspiration to be found.  Those are the days you have to be mindful anyway.  Not because you want to --  just because it's the right thing to do.

Thought for the Day....

This thought comes from Productive Flourishing. 

Watching what everyone else is doing keeps you reacting to what you think is going on rather than what’s important – building something you’re proud of. -- Charlie Gilkey

If you liked the thought, click over and watch his 3 minute video expansion of the thought.  His topic is business but holds completely true for your weight management and mindful practice.

**and as an aside:  He makes the super coolest monthly action planners that you can download here for free.  Neat stuff!!

Not knowing what you're doing and looking dumb

This was my experience yesterday:

I was out in the world, reading a book about value-stream mapping (for fun.  Weird, huh?) and working on a map of programming here at the FC.

**Let me just get out of the way:  the map was terrible.  In pencil.  With scribbles all over it.  Not using the correct symbols.  And....I am pretty sure that it was incorrectly done from start to finish (as I don't actually know how to do value-stream mapping -- thus the need to read the book).  Plus...all the books I have read on this subject have talked about manufacturing usage -- not how you would put this into practice in a retail service environment like mine.**

Okay...  So I'm out in public and I have a couple of minutes to kill...I pull out my book and my unattractive map.  I am studying it and I off the sudden I have an Ah-ha! about how we do things here that I have never seen before -- and it is all because of my ugly, unattractive, and incorrectly-drawn (at least from the technical perspective) map. 

I am just digesting and in the process of adding more of my own squiggle marks on the map (in pen, which was a no-no according to the book), when a gentleman behind me (who had full view of my "art project") introduced himself as a Six Sigma Blackbelt (the Olympic Athlete of value-stream mapping).  

I just want to crawl under a rock! 

My novice attempts at understanding this subject have just been witnessed by someone who has the knowledge to see every mistake and inane usage of a tool that just gave me an epiphany.  The fact that he was nice enough not to comment on my horrible (but still insightful) map did not help me feel any less dumb.

But you know what?  No matter what novice ill-usage of the tool he saw, the map still provided insight to me -- which is what it's job it and what I was trying to accomplish. 

Just like all the "mistakes" and mis-usages of the Eating Scale or journalling that you might experience as you learn to use them.  When you start to talk to someone about how you are using the Hunger/Fullness scale, you might be worried that you're using it wrong -- you might not want to talk about mindfulness for fear of seeming dumb because you aren't comfortable with them yet.

The important thing about each of these tools is that they provide you with insights you wouldn't get in your normal course of eating.  It doesn't really matter if you're using them "correctly" -- it matters if you are learning about your actions. 

So keep up your practicing with the H/F scale and your journalling!  Any way that gives you insights into your behavior is the correct way to do it!

Thinking for yourself

It's been a busy, weird week at work.  All the usual stuff needs to be done but around here, we've been getting ready for the Run for the Health of It, the first ever Kalamazoo Marathon, and in my case, the Kids Fun Run.

While I have been a part of the Fun Run in the past, it's always been the "show up and be told what to do" kind of help I was giving.  No need to really think for myself -- Becky or Deb would point me in a direction and tell me what to do -- easy peasy -- no brain cells required in advance and not that many needed to complete the assigned task -- just follow directions.

This year's a little different since Deb is not going to be able to be at the Fun Run.  This week she's been prepping me for the million things she does for the Fun Run -- and I'm supposed to remember it all.  And then execute it when it actually needs to be done!! 

Have you noticed how much work it is having to think for yourself?  If you just have to follow directions:

a. it requires not real thought on the do-er's part
b. you don't stress too much because if it doesn't work out, you always have someone else to take the fall -- after all, they told you what to do!

That's one reason, I think diets are so appealing to so many people.  All you've got to do is follow directions -- and if it doesn't work, you have someone else to blame.

But the downside of showing up and being told what to do is there's not that much room for making the project or event your own.  No pride of ownership because you didn't have to problem solve or be creative. 

So it really comes down to:  are you willing to work through issues, problem solve and be creative to make an eating lifestyle that you can live with?  Or are you going to take the easy, less satisfying, and shorter lasting diet way out??

Do something Friday

A woman walking home alone in the dark probably isn't a very good plan.  Sure people do it but that doesn't make it any smarter.  Yes...you can go off on the tangent that it isn't fair that it isn't safe for us to walk home alone -- but that it a moot point.  It is the way it is.  We have to deal with it.

Adding a couple more women to that lone walker -- now you have a group of women walking home in the dark.  Takes a little bit more planning but the increased safety makes the plan a little more sound.

Going to the grocery store hungry, buying a box of cookies (along with the ingredients for tonight's dinner), making sure the cookies are bagged at the top and opening them in the parking lot on your way home -- not such a great plan if you're trying to cultivate mindfulness -- the very situation you're eating in requires you not be mindful of the cookies.

Making sure you have a snack before you go to the grocery store (or waiting to eat the cookies until you get home, can put them on a plate, and sit down to eat them) requires more planning.  The upside is you are creating a situation that lessens the likelihood of showing up at home with nothing but the crumbs on the drivers seat and no recollection of how you emptied the entire box.

Is it fair that you need to take these extra steps?  Again, moot point.  It is what needs to be done for you to successfully be able to create more mindfulness in your life.  Which in turn will allow you to never worry about your weight or the fit of your close or if you "shouldn't" eat something. 

Worthwhile trade off??  I think so.

Habitutation, the power of imagination, and Dr. Oz

Do you think it is possible to eat less by imagining cleaning your plate?  A new study says you can!!  Click here to watch a 4 minute explanation by Dr. Oz and his panel on how you can use this technique to help you eat less.

The 500th Post!

This is the Eating Coach Official 500th post!!

When I started this blog, I didn't even tell anyone I was going to try it. I just started writing and figured it would be okay if I ran out of things to say (at 10 or 50 or a 100 posts) if no one was reading it anyway. But I must not have run out of things to say since I made it this far.

Having 500 posts under my belt, there is one thing I can say for sure -- I wouldn't want to have to sit down and crank out 500 posts all at once --- or even in a month -- it would be too tough!

It's not tough writing one post per day (or not usually that tough). Looking for inspiration for one post is a do-able thing. And honestly, once I realized I could do one post per day, I found I liked it well enough to add another post. At my 300th Eating Coach post, I added the Kristi-in-Kzoo blog. I don't update that one as regularly as this one -- it keeps the pressure off and I just post things that interest me.

A couple months ago, I started administrating and posting for the BorgessAthlete. So now I'm up to 2 posts every day -- which is cool!

NOW.....before this really does sound like too much self-congratulations -- here's what I really want you to notice about my story:

1. I started out just seeing if I could make a small change. There was a risk of failure -- but I tried to limit price of failure so it was small enough that Lizzie couldn't start screaming at me too loud.

2. I had to learn to break my work down into manageable pieces and then spread it out over 21 months. If I had convinced myself it needed to be done all at once -- I would have been too overwhelmed to start!

3. Once I had some success with what I was doing, I looked for ways to expand on that success -- but it wasn't perfectly copied success (I only add to the "just for fun" blog when it's fun and convenient -- to keep the pressure off).

Give some thought to an area you have been successful in.  Did you jump in both feet way over your head and devote every waking hour of you life to that success until you achieved it?  (some people do...but I think they must have longer attention spans than I do) Or....did you stick a toe in, try it out, work through the kinks, walk away from it and then walk back to it.....etc.?

All of that is another way to say:

Start.
Start small.
Build on success over time.

And then don't forget to step back, appreciate what you've accomplished for a minute, feel good, and then get back to work.

What do you think? Sound like a plan?

Why are you doing what you're doing?

I just finished an (the 6th) version of an essay about why I do what I do for a living.  This first 5 were terrible.  I mean it....really terrible.  This 6th wasn't too bad -- not great but not embarrassingly bad anyway.

What I learned from this experience is:

It's sometimes really hard to figure out why I want to do what I do. (Because" it's fun" isn't really a reason.)  But walking out of the process, I can see how each of the essays contributed to a deeper understanding of my behaviors.  Verbalizing is a great way to actually see if I KNOW the reason I do what I do.

Have you ever noticed how "Because my boss/spouse/doctor/best friend told me I needed to" isn't really long-term motivating?  And if you really want to be successful in managing your weight, ultimately, it comes down to you doing the work (because no one can do it for you) and you keeping yourself motivate (because no one understands you like you do).

But if you don't understand your own motivations, how can you  be successful practicing mindful eating and keeping yourself motivated to eat mindfully when it's much easier to "let things ride"?

Maybe it's time for you to write an essay. (I can hear the groans from here -- believe me, I feel your pain!).  Take some time to write out why you're doing what you're doing.  If it doesn't come easy, give it some more thought and write another essay (and another, and another, and another if you have to).  Keep writing until you can adequately put into words why you are trying to manage your weight in the first place.  I expect you have many more reasons that you think (right now).  And wouldn't it be great to gain some extra motivation when the chips are down and you really want to binge?

And once you get your essay done, if you're really brave and looking for some accountability, leave it as a comment on the blog -- share it with the world so we can tell you what a great job you're doing!!

Are you a glutton for novelty??

I was just reading a blog post that stated "we are gluttons for novelty" -- and I think that is true.  From the larger perspective of how very difficult it is to sit down to write this post and feel my attention being distracted with the thought of what might be showing up in my inbox or happening on Twitter to the more narrowly focused idea that the more variety there is in my fridge, the more I will eat in a day.

We like new things -- you don't have to look any further than the crock pot in your fridge with the leftovers from Sunday.  Think anyone is getting in there again before that food goes bad?  Nope -- you're better off just to put it in the freezer right now -- we've tasted it and moved on to something new.

We like different.  Why do you think we all eat so much when we're at a buffet?  Lord knows you don't want to miss out forever on that chocolate pudding and all three kinds of jello!

Did you know that if M&M's are sorted by colors into different bowl, test subjected eat fewer of them than if all colors are mixed into one bowl?  It's true!  We don't like to miss out on anything -- even different colored M&M's that don't taste any different no matter what the color.

So what's that mean for our ability to be more mindful with our eating?  Just recognizing that more variety makes it more tempting to eat can help us.  Try buying one or two variety of yogurts or fruits each time  you go to the store.  Get one wonderful cheese at a time.  It will alleviate some of the stress of eating one so you can move on to the next.

And then give some thought to what variety pack trips you up.  How could you change up your buying habits to limit the temptation eat for novelty?

Do something Friday

Which brick are you moving this weekend??? 

Every brick counts

Have you ever built a brick wall?  When I was a kid, my parents bricked a wall in our family room.  My job, along with my sister, was to move bricks, by the wagon load, from the pallet where the truck dropped them off, to a spot outside the door where my parents could grab them, as they needed them for the wall.

Moving one brick in a wagon is really no big deal.  Even my under-motivated, 10 year old self wouldn't have minded that.  Moving a whole wall of bricks, on the other hands, was unpleasant enough that I still remember how much of a pain in the neck it was.  "Why", my lazy, 10 year old self would ask, "do I have to move the bricks? Should I be outside playing or something?" 

The difference between moving one brick and a whole wall of bricks is comes down to consistency.  Because my sister and I moved a wagon load a day, it took us quite a while to move the pallets -- but we got it done.  And it really wasn't more than two kids could handle.

The same thing can be said about most things in life.  The task as a whole seems daunting and you may feel unprepared to tackle it.  The thing about any task, though, is it can always be broken down into smaller, more manageable pieces.

Cutting back on your calories can be broken down to cutting back on a few bites of food each time you each.  What if you threw out the last quarter of everything you ate?  What would that do to the way your pants fit?

Sometimes you just need to move a brick at a time (or leave the bite uneaten).

Your Time is Precious



Take Action Today

 Time's precious -- sometimes we all forget that.  And then something happens (let's be honest, usually it is something bad) that shakes us out of our rut and makes us realize that we are living in the past or living in the future but most definitely not living in the present. 

Here is your call to action:  if you've been reading this blog for a while but haven't committed to putting it into action, or....

You were really living your mindful eating but have fallen off the wagon just a bit....

Now is the time to take action.  Today.  You can appreciate the fact that you are living, breathing, have the opportunity to make decisions for yourself.  Live today today.  Eat today for your needs today -- taste every bite and put down the ones that don't taste fantastic -- just for today.  I bet it will make you feel GREAT (today)!

And while I appreciate all of you out there who are reading and thinking about wanting to become more mindful -- thinking about it won't do anything for you -- action is what counts!  So....print this out, make lots of copies and post them everywhere in your environment -- your desk, your fridge, your bathroom mirror, attached to your car keys, folded around the money in your wallet -- TAKE ACTION TODAY!

Rachel Ray is right

I am working in my kitchen today, getting ready for the week.  The week promises to be crazy busy (aren't they all?) going here, going there.  On the menu for the week is potato soup.  So...out comes the garlic, the onions, the potatoes....  Picture it:

I am all wedged in the corner of my counter smashing garlic with the knife so I can take off the skin, bits of skin are flying everywhere -- the floor, behind the coffee pot, under the toaster....  The board is covered with the little white bits and they are getting in the way as I'm chopping (or maybe it's mincing...haven't learned the difference from Rachel yet), when it hits me.....

I am being stupid and short sighted.

Rachel Ray is all about making cooking work into our schedule's right?  That is the basis of her whole show and probably one of the reasons I really like watching her.  She is also a big proponent of the garbage bowl.

If your not a fan of hers, let me explain.  The garbage bowl is where you put all the bits of stuff you aren't going to cook.  The ends of the carrots and onions, the shavings, and yes, even the bits of garlic skins.

If you have the bowl on the counter, you don't have to let the garbage accumulate on your board.  You also don't have it flying off your board and on to the floor.  And you don' t have to keep using your gunky hands on your cabinets to open the door to where you store your trash can.  Voila!  All of it is in the bowl and you only need to dump it once.

Long story short:  a garbage bowl makes my cooking easier and tidier.  Which makes my whole cooking experience more pleasurable (which increases the likelihood I will do it again).

The problem with a garbage bowl is that I am not habituated to using one.  It actually takes bits of garlic skin flying under my fridge to remind me that perhaps I need to rethink my system.  The bowls couldn't be more conveniently located in the cupboard directly in front of me when I am prepping -- but they don't do me any good unless remember to get one out and use it.

So all of that is you encourage you:  don't think just because you haven't mastered a new habit that you are unable to.  Just because it isn't your front line reaction, doesn't mean you can't train yourself in a different direction. 

Sometimes it just takes the garlic bits blowing around your kitchen to make you take the extra step of following through on a plan.

What do you do in the face of potential failure?

Trying something new always comes with a risk that you might not be successful.  Always.  As in, there is no way to get around this situation. 

What I believe is that everyday we wake up is something new.  Sure....you might still be going to the same office, dealing with the same people, same issues, same problems -- but although it might sometimes seem like you are living the wake-up scenes from Groundhog Day, if you take a little bit deeper look, you will see that each day definitely comes with its own set of challenges.  Which makes each day new.  Which makes each day a situations fraught with inherent risk that you might fail in an area you don't want to.

The upside of this rather dismal outlook is that if you have the potential to fail, you also have the potential to succeed.  And one isn't really more likely than the other because neither of them has been predestined.

So it all comes down to choice and how you actually react in the face of potential failure.  Do you curl up in a ball and let failure find you?  Do you stand up straight, lift your chin, do what you need to do and walk away at the end of the day knowing you have done your best?

People make 250 (ish) choices about what, how and how much they are eating every day.   All of them comes the risk of failure -- but you don't have to make them all perfectly -- you don't even need to make most of them perfectly -- you only need to improve a few of the decisions you make each day to get to reach your healthy weight.  Given that, the odds of success are in your favor.  So...what are you going to do about that?