Practice makes Perfect (well...maybe not perfect)

I just started reading "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell. The book is a fun journey through the process of what makes some of us great and others...well...maybe just "not as accomplished".

The premise of the book takes a look at "natural talent" and investigates how much that contributes to success (and whether or not there are other factors at play here that can be understood and tapped into by those of us who haven't ever been labeled "gifted" in some particular direction.

The good news is, what brilliant people have in common is situations that made it possible for them to practice their craft (whether hockey players, musicians, computer geniuses) the 10,000 hours it takes to achieve mastery of the task.

Think about that -- the only thing that stands between me and mastery of ski jumping (other than 2 uninjured knees and a dreadful fear of heights) is 10,000 hours of intense practice!!

Based on this, my thinking has bent to those people (usually wives) who are in my office talking about how this person in their lives (usually the husband but sometimes a friend) seems to eat and never worry about what he/she is eating. Never getting stressed about food choices or weight or any of the other issues that so often torque clients out of shape.

What if that seemingly "natrually-gifted" eater just has gotten enough time (due to how they were raised or some other situation in their life) to PRACTICE the SKILL of mindful eating (noting how physically hungry they are and eating accordingly/understanding that there will be other opportunities to eat this particular food so there is no reason to over eat right now/ etc.)???

What if they aren't just born that way but have worked on it long enough that it is just the most natural feeling way to be??

That would mean there is hope for all the other "non-naturally-gifted" eaters of the world!!

They just need to put in their time practicing. And much like you wouldn't expect to downhill ski a Black Diamond on your first (or 100th) time, you don't need to beat yourself up when your mindful eating practice goes awry. You can just pick yourself up, dust the crumbs off your pants, and get back to practicing. No guilt. No shame. And understanding that you are working on mastery of the eating practice.

But you need to practice. Fortunately, you can start today! Do something Friday!

Never underestimate the power of Connected

I was looking around the fitness center today -- and what did I see???

Why are weight loss programs like Biggest Loser, Weight Watchers, and Atkin's successful?

A big reason people come to my fitness center is to be connected. Connected with others who are battling illness, recovering from an event, or struggling with a diagnosis. Biggest Loser, Weight Watchers, and the Atkin's revolution connected people -- gave them something to talk about. Gave them common ground to share their experiences. Let them belong to a tribe of others like themselves. Humans need that. --It is not a want -- it is a very basic essence of being human.

I just read an article that said 25% of Americans currently live alone (compared with 7% in 1940).

Research out of Duke University says that between 1985 and 2004 the number of people with whom the average American discussed "important matters" dropped from three to two. The number of people who said that there was no one with whom they discussed important matters tripled" In 2004 individuals without a single confidant made up a quarter of those surveyed.

Interesting statistic but how does this figure into our discussion??

If (and there is a large amount scientific data to support this)we humans need to be connected to each other -- and we have all watched the success of those lucky few on Biggest Loser or experienced the power (abet in the short term) of Weight Watchers -- why not harness this need to help us achieve our long-term weight loss success.

Get connected. Start talking to your friends -- the ones that will really support you in deed, not just in words. Talk to your family -- get their buy in for slowing down mealtime. Find the friends that are willing to explore their eating behaviors with you. Create your network of support. Talk, blog, compare notes. Don't just drone on about food -- explore your attitudes and listen to others talk about theirs.

You will all gain support and end up losing inches.

Dissecting and cataloging our food

"To know objects only through dissecting and cataloging them is to miss their full reality. It is to fall asleep amidst the mystery and to become numb to the wonder of this great Earth." - John Daido Loori

The above is why Americans don't enjoy their food like the Europeans do. (it has been scientifically tested -- we enjoy food less)

Why???

Because Europeans have been trained and are culturally supported in the idea that they should enjoy what they are putting in their mouths. We are culturally trained and supported in the notion that we need to eat food that is "good for us" (ie green or at the very least comes in a green package) or no-fat or belonging to some other subcategory of "healthy" which may or may not actually be "healthy" for you.



We Americans miss the big picture that if we want a hamburger, we probably don't need 1.5 pounds of beef -- but the beef we do get should taste great (and not like frozen, preformed sawdust).

We need to stop spending so much mental energy on whether or not some scientist thinks this is a good food and start paying attention to whether the food is hitting this spot! If you pay attention to what you eat -- you will eat less but enjoy it more.

(Thanks to Patti for the quote)

Chalk one up for Mindfulness

I have told you all in the past, I love!! to eat. But here's the thing -- sometimes I eat like there is no tomorrow (really!! -- anything that is not nailed down is goin' in! And I am STARVING when I sit down) Other times, I am not hungry at all. It sometimes freaks me out when I am going through on of those "Hungry/Starving all the time" stretches -- but I don't seem to get in too much of a crank when I don't get hungry.

Then there are the times that life gets too busy to cook. You know how it goes -- one kid needs to be here, the other dropped off there, project at work is due, house is a wreck, lawn needs to be mowed... with all of that going on, sometimes I don't cook. So...the kids cook, or we eat something quick that really isn't a meal so much as just concentrated grazing.

A few weeks ago, we went through that cycle. I didn't really cook a meal (maybe for a whole week). I mean, there was soup for dinner, or pasta or whatever but the food was just stopping the hunger and not really inspired -- so there wasn't a whole lot of reason to eat much.

By that Friday, I was feeling blah! Nothing seemed to be going right and I couldn't seem to muster my usual sunny disposition.

That night -- because I didn't want to eat just anything (again)and because I didn't feel like cooking, the girls and I ordered pizza. We were veggin' and eating pizza in front of the tv (which normally doesn't happen so it is a treat for all of us).  As I was half way through my second slice, I noticed my mood was improving. My sunny disposition was returning. Life looked more positive than it had when I handed the delivery guy my money. Weird, huh?

But here's the thing -- good food feeds the soul -- not just the body. Food elicits all kinds of neurochemical reactions in the brain but good food also make you feel nurtured.

I don't know why I had such a strong uplifted mood boost from the pizza -- I haven't ever noticed that sensation before. But it doesn't really matter why it happened -- the point is it did. And the more important point is that I recognized it. If I would have been on autopilot, I wouldn't have noticed it and the opportunity to know myself better would have passed on by.

Is Mindful Eating a Free Pass?

I have talked in the past about diet rules and how they provide structure to a program. They provide a box for you to stay inside of. Sometimes, that is a nice, safe feeling -- for a while anyway.

So where is the box when you are trying to eat mindfully? Clients, in the past, have sometimes mistaken me when I say "Eat what sounds great!" for "Eat as much as you want of whatever you want and you will still lose weight". This is not the case.

The box with mindful eating is that you are reconnecting with your sensations of hunger and fullness. And learning to differentiate between physical hunger and trigger eating. Saying no to yourself when you feel the urge to trigger eat (in response to stress, let's say) can be a very empowering thing. It is your higher self taking action and moving you in the direction you want to go.

Now, as far as the eat whatever sounds great, the box is that you have to be paying attention and eat the smallest amount that gives you the greatest amount of pleasure. Let's be honest, how often do you eat just one Hershey's Kiss? One CAN be enough IF you are paying attention to the texture, flavor and aroma --not just popping it in, chewing like a fiend and looking for the next one before the first one is totally swallowed.

It takes real work to learn to pay attention. It doesn't just happen. If you are eating mindfully, you can eat anything you want but that freedom comes with the responsibility to pay attention through the whole process -- and not overeat!

Getting to the root of what you need

Sometimes, when I talk about the the idea of mindfulness, it feels like people confused.

A while ago, I told you I was inspired to simplify the Eating Coach mantra to "Omit needless foods". But the question is: How? How do I decide what is needless for me? Is a batch of no bake cookies, made at 9pm on a weekday when the kids are in bed and I have no plans of taking the cookies to work tomorrow, needless? (the dilemma I was working through last night). Or maybe it is exactly needed -- since I have been craving no bake cookies for a week and haven't gotten a chance to make them yet.

The real point here is: show up for these decisions. The ship has sailed on the decision-making if I had been talking myself through this process at 9:05pm, standing at the stove stirring the melting butter and cocoa powder.

The goal is to live in the present moment! To be aware of what you are thinking, what you are doing, and what you are DECIDING to eat is imperative. Sometimes, eating cookies might be the needed thing to do -- BUT...how am I going to know unless I ask myself "Is this really needed?"

As it turns out -- no bake cookies were needless for me last night. Tonight, the answer to that question may be different. The important thing is to ask yourself and then listen for the answer.

Paradigm shift

From Virus of the Mind:

Every so often, the work of science experiences something called a paradigm shift. That happens when one of the basic, underlying assumptions we've been living with changes, such as when we shifted from looking at the universe as revolving around the earth to the earth revolving around the sun. Another shift occurred when Einstein discovered the relationships between space and time and between energy and matter. Each of these paradigm shifts took some time to penetrate the scientific community and even longer to become accepted by the general public.

Because understanding this new science involves a significant change in the way people think about the mind and culture, it has been difficult for them to grasp...

The trick to learning a new paradigm is to set aside your current one while you're learning rather than attempt to fit the new knowledge into your existing model. It won't fit!

So the first question for a person struggling with the practice of eating mindfully is:

Are you willing to set aside your current paradigm (with all of its self-knowledge and prejudices) to explore a new one (mindful eating)?

It will take too long....

The last couple days, as I have been going about my regular business, in the back of my brain, thoughts from the Excuses Begone are still percolating around. What came to the fore today is the thought that Mindful Eating, as a weight loss tool, will take too long.

The other day, I wrote a post about Magic Beans -- those quick fixes -- emphasis on the quick -- we all want to be the weight we want to be and we want to get there yesterday!

Last week, I had a conversation with a client, who had decided he couldn't put the energy into learning to eat mindfully while he was overweight. He decided he wanted to lose the weight in the fashion he was successful in the past. Once the weight was off, he would learn the mindful skills to keep it off.

But what about those of us who don't start to get the weight off because it is going to take too long??

I liked Wayne Dyer's answer to that statement:

An entertaining psychiatrist named Dr. Murray Banks does just that with the following little exchange between himself and a woman who has decided not to return to school because she’d be too old when she finished.

“How old would you be in five years if you got that degree by starting now?” he asks her.
“Forty-nine,” she replies.
“And how old will you be in five years if you don’t go back to school?”
“Forty-nine,” she answers, with the bewildered confusion of becoming conscious of making an excuse for not elevating her life.

However long it took you to create any self-defeating habit, you did it all one day, one moment at a time. There’s absolutely no proof that anything will take a long time, since even the idea of “a long time” is an illusion—there is only now.

Make this awareness a part of your consciousness. The Tao Te Ching reinforces this in perhaps the most famous line in that masterful work:

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Elevate or move on in your life, not by thinking big and in long time periods, but with consciousness focused on the present moment.

Appreciate the Process

Last week I read the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. (can't say enough good things about this book -- nice, interesting, thought-provoking read)

At one point in the story, the main character meets the Alchemist and asked why he was successful in learning alchemy when so many other were not. The answer given is that the unsuccessful ones only wanted the rewards (gold and eternal life)that come at the end of the process -- they did not understand the true value came in living the pursuit.

This is a distinction worth thinking about.

Do you just want to lose weight? Or do you want to learn more about yourself --

How you handle stress.

How, perhaps, you have gained weight to hide from something else in your life.

How, maybe, you haven't been successful in losing and keeping weight off in the past because one of your "truths" is that you are a person who will always be overweight.

Wouldn't you like managing your weight to be as easy as breathing? It can be if you get to the root cause of the weight gain (trust me, the problem is not found in what you are eating. It is found in why you are eating like you do). Learn to appreciate the process of managing your weight and the weight loss will take care of itself.

Books in the trash can

A couple weeks back, I was talking to my friend Phyllis. I don't remember how the subject came up but she was telling me how when she was a kid, she and her friends would walk downtown (Kalamazoo) after school got out. They would stash their school books in the trash can, ask the local police officer to keep an eye on them, and head to the local soda shop for a drink.

Now...you might think this story would provoke me to talk about how sweets were viewed as treats during the time P grew up or...that it was wonderful how much activity the kids got so they could actually calorically afford to go to the soda shop...

But those are not the things that struck me first while she was telling the story.

What I got hung up on was that she stuck her school books in the trash can -- GROSS!!
When I asked her about this ("Didn't anyone ever dump something on them???") She said it was always fine because they didn't used to have trash like we do today. Hmmmm....that got me thinking.

How would your today have been different if...

1. you had to either make your coffee and drink it at home (no travel mugs or cup holders in the cars)

2. you had to go to the diner and sit and drink your coffee there (and possibly eat your breakfast sitting down at a table .. gasp!) because you just didn't drive thru back then. And paper cups and plastic wrap were not plentiful.

If these options were taken away from you, would you consume foods differently than you did this morning?

Could you get back to more of this view of food? Not eat in the car. Not eat out of plastic wrappers or paper cups or travel mugs (the travel mugs is what would be hardest for me)?

Could ya? Would ya? Just give it a try -- just for a week. Maybe you will learn you can be happy living with real dishes and real coffee mugs and making less trash. If you take away the multitasking while we eat -- we would reduce how many times we eat a day -- no question about that. Calories saved. Weight to be lost.

Seasons are changing

It's been over a month since we have had a holiday. The summer is winding down. We've had the opportunity to eat the hot dogs and barbecued chicken on the grill, the potato salad and the rest of the summer food. What's next?

Soon the kids will be back in school, back to the structure of "normal" life. What is going to happen to your eating patterns? Are you getting ready to make the transition away from the cool salads of summer into the heartier foods of fall? How will those heavier foods change your fullness levels?

As your activity slows down, your need for those extra calories for biking and walking in the evenings will go down, as well. How can you successfully make all of these transitions?

By continuing to be mindful of your level of hunger BEFORE you start eating and by monitoring your fullness level WHILE you are eating.

Try serving yourself smaller portions -- when the food is gone you can access if you are still hungry or if you could be content to stop eating. If you are still hungry, put another small serving on your plate. You can go from hunger to the first signs of fullness in as little as 3 bites. Eat them slowly and see what signals your stomach sends you about the amount of food you are eating. There is no need to put on pounds just because the seasons are changing.

The "New Normal"

A couple of months ago, I thought I coined this phrase. I thought it was quite clever. Seems now, I must have just heard it somewhere and just picked it up.

New normal is what we are striving for. Clients tend to get frustrated toward the end of their first 6 weeks with me because everything requires so much thought. It was easier when they didn't have to put so much thought into every eating decision. But...I counter... they were putting at least as much energy into feeling bad about their weight or their eating decisions, it was just normal and natural to deal with the negativity -- so it didn't seem like as much work.

The "New Normal" comes when people develop the habit of asking themselves "Am I hungry?" BEFORE they eat. If you are hungry -- then eat. If you are not hungry, then you have the opportunity to decide if this is something you really want or need to eat. With practice this becomes the natural thought process. It becomes just what they do automatically. It becomes normal.

When paying attention to your hunger and fullness levels becomes the "New Normal", it will require a lot less energy and thought than it does now. And you will have developed an effective, life-long tool to manage your weight.

Why is more better than one?

The other day I was having a discussion with a client. He was relaying the story of his visit to friend’s house and how the friend pulled out a huge tub of cookies and exclaimed his guests “just had to try one!”. The guests (my client) ate one and it was unbelievably good. So…after the guests had eaten their cookie, the host packed up the box and put the rest away. No more cookies -- just one. The guests were stunned.

In talking with the client about this, the question came up “would you have eaten the one cookie differently if you knew it was going to be the only one you got?”. The answer was a resounding yes!

We have gotten used to many -- not just one. It didn’t even enter into my client’s head that there would be just one offered. If it had, he would have eaten the cookie slowly, savoring the texture and the taste of butter.

Why is more better than one? Honestly, I do not believe it is. More is just what we are used to. More just means that we have more opportunities to taste what we are eating without having to pay close attention while we are doing it. But we eat more calories and gain weight. In the case of the cookies, we amp up our blood sugar and put additional strain on our pancreas as it tries to secrete enough insulin to bring our blood sugar back in line. The downsides are there because of our lack of attention. Honestly, we do not care enough about what we are doing to bring our full attention to it. That one cookie does not merit our full attention because there is a whole tub of them and we can always have more.

Sound familiar??