Bonus!!

Hi All!  For those of you who haven't been to class with me to discuss Michelle May, her wonderful books, and her outlook on the difference between mindful eating and dieting -- here is a wonderful!!  short article to explain the differences.

Enjoy!

Seeking Balance -- sometimes it's not that easy

Gretchen, at The Happiness Project, brought up the discussion of opportunity costs today in her post.  It seems to resonate with the idea of discernmentI pick up this weekend from Dancing with the Dream.

Gretchen describes opportunity costs as When a resource (like time or money) is scarce, taking advantage of one opportunity means forgoing another opportunity.  And by this definition, we are talking about deciding between two good options.

So when you are using your resources to be more mindful of your eating, it is costing you the luxury of eating however and whatever you want without a care in the world.  Both of these eating styles have their merit and have their place in life.

The question then rounds back to discernment.  Discernment is being able to make a judgement about what it is you really want.  Sometimes, all I want is to sit on the couch, veg and eat something extremely salty -- yum!  But if I was doing that night after night, that would no longer be discernment, it would just be a calorically expensive habit.

On the other hand, my mom complains that all the "good food/bad food" labelling and dissection that goes on, has taken much of the joy out of eating the foods she grew up on since now she knows that the lard, bacon grease, and highly refined sugar (used in some of the best dishes I have ever eaten) are not "good" for her.  So, hyper-mindfulness can also be a problem.

So all of that being said, what it comes back down to (as with so many other things -- perhaps it is even the eternal quest of life?) is balance.  Balancing the needs of the moment with the needs of a lifetime.  Balancing rest, ease and peace with the action necessary to create a life full of health and happiness.  Being able to take the long view and still see what's right in front of you.

Eating is just one example in a life choke full of examples of things needing balance.

Life is in the Doing

This afternoon I was giving some thought to how cool it would be to be a professional blogger.  Get to write all day -- surf the net looking for neat ideas to share.  Sit around in sweats and not worry about "punching a time clock".  So I gave this fantasy a little play time and then realized I really would enjoy that job but only for about a week.

Here's the thing though -- the internet is only so interesting.  Much of what I really love about life is found not just in the talking about thing but the actual doing of things.  Reading or watching golf is only so entertaining -- but once you try it, you either love it or hate it but it is entirely different that just thinking about it.

Much of what we talk about here comes from you.  My clients tell me stories, I read interesting studies that I think you might enjoy thinking about -- this is a forum to make connections.  The key to making connections useful and interesting is to see how they can be used in other areas of your life.  How can they improve your life?

Without the opportunities to make connections both with people and with information, my life would be less interesting and I would be less effective in the "doing" end of things.

So how about you?  How do you use this blog?  Are you one of the people who reads and finds it interesting but then shrugs it off as you put the first coffee mug of the day in the sink?  Or are you one of those people who is using this to jump start your conversations about eating with yourself and others?

I will absolutely keep you if you're here just to think about things and lightly try them out.  What I hope, though, is that you are talking about your eating habits and patterns of mindfulness with people whose opinions matter to you.  That is one of the reasons I love this forum -- you can share your thoughts/victories/ and seeming defeats with the rest of us and expect to get support, encouragement and a fresh set of eyes focusing on the issues.

Keep talking, keep thinking, keep making those connections -- both with information and with people.  Mindfulness comes from deliberately paying attention to what is going on around you so that you can act on it.

Watching the Grass Grow

This weekend, I spent some time sitting on my deck reading.  The book wasn't holding my attention and I found myself gazing out onto my lawn.

A few years ago, when I moved to this house, the lawn was really new.  It didn't look so much like a lawn as a really short corn field with the grass seeds just sprouting in rows with very larges bare spaces between the sprouts.  It has taken a couple of years but with some attention and fertilizer, the yard is looking pretty good.  There are still some small bare patches where the grass hasn't filled in all the way but I am pleased with the progress.

I am sure it would have come in quicker if I had installed a sprinkler system but I have issues with using drinkable ground water for watering the grass (not to mention paying for the electricity, water, etc to make the grass grow so I can spend more time and gas to mow it).  The point is, the yard is coming in slow but sure and I am happy about how it is looking.  By the end of summer, it might even look great!

My lawn is a lot like creating a habit of mindful eating.  When you start, you might see some nice rows of neatly sprouting mindfulness but there are going to be bare spots between them -- the bare spots might even be pretty big.

But with some attention, education, and practice, the mindfulness starts to fill in and spread.  It might take longer than you want but your mindfulness will grow so that it covers all of your life.  When you work on your mindful eating practices like this, you let the elements of your life (parties, happy times, sad times, busy and boring times) play a role in nurturing your habits.  There might be some times where you forget to be mindful -- but when the practice is slowly (and therefore sustainably) grown, you are putting deep roots down for your behavior change.  This is a natural cycle of grow, nourish, and grow again.  The filling in process will happen naturally without overwhelming your resources and time.

I have to admit, it frustrates me that I don't have a gorgeous yard yet.  On the other hand, I haven't had to give up any of my fun summer activities to make sure I am home to water, fertilize, mow, seed, etc.  -- you know, all those things that are necessary to get a beautiful lawn in one or two seasons.  And summer is too short to let your lawn (or your weight loss) run your life.

Do something Friday

Do you live in a reactionary world?

Reacting is an interesting response.  We live in a culture that seems prone to reacting to situations.  Not much of what happens in life is THAT unexpected.  Perhaps the timing of an event might suprise us -- but the actual event would probably not be that unexpected if we had taken the time to look up from all the "important" stuff we were doing to see what was happening in the world around us.

Take, for example, your work environment.  In most jobs I have come across, there is a pretty big cause and effect factor.  If you know your job and take the time to think about things, most of what happens could be anticipated reasonably well.  When I am successful in anticipating a likely scenario, I can make a plan or have an idea of how I need to deal with that situation.  It doesn't sneak up on me.

Another issue with reacting being your go-to M.O. is you are always at the mercy of someone or something else.  What ever is causing you to react has all the power -- you never get to chose a path -- your situations are always in charge of your life.

Reacting happens a lot when we are uncomfortable.  The tendency is for us to feel the discomfort and make a change to stop it.  When a reactionary person is in an uncomfortable situation, they either run away from it, quickly work to change the situation so it is more tolerable, or zone out thus removing themselves from the discomfort.

Many of us have been taught hunger is an uncomfortable situation -- that hunger sneaks up on us and hits us over the head with a frying pan.  --Not true.

The sensation of hunger doesn't have to be uncomfortable -- it can be just another sensation - like hot or cold, that will need to be addressed but doesn't need to run your life.

Many times clients will tell me that they hate the sensation of hunger and do anything to avoid it (thus eating a ton more calories to ward off hunger that isn't there).  Remember what hunger is -- it is your body's signal you need calories for energy.  Acting on this signal means recognizing it when the hunger level is small and making a plan to eat something -- you are in charge of that decision and can make appropriate choices.  You can act on your sensation.

We get into trouble when we don't pay attention to the small level of hunger and end up feeling crazy hungry -- which sends us running for the nearest fast food or vending machine, eating way too much too quickly and then feeling stuffed, guilty, and defeated because we feel our body's have betrayed our intentions to lose weight.  The feeling most clients don't like is not hunger -- it is the crazy, overpowering, out of control hunger that sends them into reaction mode.

The key to dealing with this is paying attention.  Hunger is pretty anticipatable.  If you don't eat for a while, you are going to get hungry.  If you wait longer, you are going to get more hungry.  If you check in with your body once in a while during the work day, you will notice the small sensations and be able to act on them.  You won't be at the mercy of an uncomfortable situation because it will be a situation you recognize and can act on.  But the real key to giving up the reactionary life is to be aware of your surroundings (both in your internal environment and external environment) -- that way there aren't as many opportunities for nasty surprises.

This weekend, start looking for reaction responses.  Is there a way to anticipate what is likely to happen and turn that reaction into just action?

Are you a Recreational Dieter?

Is dieting such a part of your life that you assume you will have to be "on a diet" or "off a diet" for the rest of your life?  Can you envision a diet-free existence?

It strikes me sometimes that people don't want to lose weight as much as they want to talk about how hard they are trying to lose weight.  Or how little they eat.  Or how they know exactly how to "do" the program they are "doing". 

People like to be right.  Or, more importantly, they hate to be wrong about themselves.

I HATE to be wrong about myself  -- and it doesn't even have to be about something earth shattering.  It took me, literally, 3 years...36 months...to come to grips with the fact that I wanted to get rid of my beloved, fabulous, absolutely perfect, cute-girl-truck and buy an SUV.  Not because anyone was making me but because my tastes had changed and I was ready to have a more functional (read boring) vehicle.  3 years of grappling with an image of myself as a truck-driving-girl --- seem silly???

People identify with being on a diet.  Hearing people talk about dieting is sometimes like hearing people talk about their Harley Davidson -- it's a club.  People connect around diets.  If you've had the experience of losing a great deal of weight and people ask you about your experience, do you get that same feeling of acceptance and connection from that conversation?

Sometimes, I think we are afraid to let go of the idea that you don't need to diet because you might lose that feeling of dieting (notice I didn't say weight loss) support that striking up a "dieting conversation" brings.

So the question becomes -- are you willing to reevaluate whether dieting has become part of your self-concept?  Is it something you do so you fit in to your world?  and most importantly -- are you willing to change?  You've got time to answer the questions -- no rush -- 36 months is a long time :)

Good ideas must die ???

Tuesday morning (bright and early, I might add) found me on the road with my boss.  However we ended up there, the subject lighted on the idea that new ideas/concepts (even plants for that matter) won't grow unless there is space created for them.  If your garden is choke full of flowers, there isn't any space for new varieties to bloom.

If your business is choke full of good ideas you are working on, you can't just keep adding new projects to the mix because there aren't enough resources available to cultivate them.

Yesterday, I asked you "what makes your heart sing?"  -- you don't have infinite resources to keep adding personal and professional projects on your plate -- at some point, something has got to give.

I was looking for inspiration for today's post and GapingVoid had the cartoon above as it's Biz Card of the Day.  The message was right on target with the conversation I had this morning.  And in line with some of what we talked about yesterday. 

Sometimes, you have to give things up.  Period.  Now...don't be sad.  Don't get mopey.  You don't have to give up anything you don't want to -- remember, I don't want you feeling deprived!  But sometimes even good ideas need to be let go of so you can give the great ones a chance to develop.

For example:  Let's say you think it's a good idea to eat more vegetables and fruits than you currently do.  THAT is your weight loss plan.  It is a solidly good idea.  You can ask anyone -- everyone will agree with you -- eating more vegetables and fruits is a good idea.  But what if you don't like veggies and fruit???

Are you ready to let this good idea go and create some space for a great one to emerge?  What if you stopped forcing yourself to eat a salad at every meal and work on eating your potato chips out of a small bowl when you sit in front of the TV in the evening?

Or...

If you made a commitment to put all of the cookies you eat on a plate and sit down at the table with no distractions (no reading your favorite magazine while munching!) and eat as many as you can focus on.

Maybe one of these would be the GREAT idea that helps you achieve your weight success.  There's only so much time and attention you can pay to your eating -- you need to find the GREAT ideas!  The good ideas will only get you so far....