Harnessing the Power of the Lizard

I have been giving this some thought. Per the request of a reader (I love requests by the way!), I have been doing some research on the Lizard, as in Inner Lizard or the Lizard Brain. Here is what I have learned:

First of all, the Lizard Brain, phyisologically speaking, is one of the oldest part of the brain from an evolutionary stand point. Its job are to keep us living -- its is the non-verbal part of our brain that runs on instinct and ritual. It catalogs our behaviors and their repercussions -- which ones worked (pleasurable)and which ones didn't (those that caused us pain or discomfort). It sees things in black and white -- there is no gray matter here.

This is the place that we act on emotional memories. This is the part of the brain that looks for patterns that concern our survival.

So...fast forward to the other day, when I was talking about the Inner Lizard. If you google the term, Seth Godin (who we all know I love!!) has put out a business book that talks a lot about overcoming the resistance of the Lizard. His contention is that the Lizard needs to be quieted. The Lizard is the one keeping us in our "safe" (read: known) bubble. We may not like where we are but we understand it -- it is status quo, we haven't died from it yet so it must be safe (because we aren't dead).

Because of what the Lizard is, it always looks backwards. It can't plan ahead. There are no known patterns of your future -- only your past has been proven out -- this is the knowledge base of the Lizard.

It is the Lizard that tells you your plan is doomed to fail. "You haven't lost the weight yet, why would it be different this time." Maybe you have lost the weight but it is starting to creep back on -- "Yup",your Lizard says, "of course it is. This is what happened last time, and the time before that, or the time before that..."

So what should we do with the Lizard? Duck tape his mouth shut? Put him in a coffee can? Tie him to a chair and threaten him with immediate demise should he open his mouth? Or (most terribly) live in fear of every time he opens his mouth?

I don't know what your Big Universal Truth (BUT) is but here is mine. Everything happens for a reason (I do not expect to know what that reason is most of the time). I believe in Synchronicity (the concept not the song by the Police). And I believe our bodies give us a ton of information about our internal and external environments that we can chose to listen to -- or not.

Based on my BUT, I am going to take a leap and come down on the side of making friends with the Lizard and seeing if we can harness his energy to help us get to where we want to go.

How's that work? Well, let's go back and look at what Lizzie does.

1. Runs on instinct and ritual
2. Sees things in black and white
3. Looks for and stores patterns in our past
4. He is loud and persistent

What if we started listening to Lizzie and understanding that (much like an overprotective mother)she just wants to keep us safe -- to have us not put ourselves at excessive risk. However, safe now is different than safe when mother-Lizzie grew up. There are no tigers at the ends of our driveways. We don't experience food shortages now like she did in her day -- there is no reason for us to gobble up our dinner or stuff ourselves. There will be more food available tomorrow. And just because we haven't been end-all, be-all successful yet in the weight loss department doesn't mean we will repeat our past ad infinitum (like mother-Lizzie keeps telling us).

And because the world is all about push and pull -- you can't have mother-Lizzie without having the recalcitrant teenager rebelling against everything she says. This is the part of you driven to eat the whole cake because Lizzie is encouraging it (you're sad you know -- the cake will help). The part of you that acts out by putting yourself on a very strict diet just to prove mother-Lizzie wrong.

When do parents start having a better relationship with their children? In my experience, it is when the child realized the parent does know some things and should be listened to because they can provide valuable insights and when the parent realized the child needs to make her own decisions about the life she wants to live.

The same with mother-Lizzie. She makes good sense when she pipes up that the guy in the elevator seems too creepy to ride with. But her alarmist stance about food shortages (you'd better eat that last few bites...who knows when you will get the opportunity to eat this again!) isn't serving you well.

Don't fight Lizzie. Learn to understand what she is telling about food -- BUT then take the extra step of evaluating her thoughts to see if they hold true in your day and age.

And remember -- ultimately YOU write your own future -- one decision at a time.

Lizards, Lizards Everywhere

As sometimes happens when you are working on noticing things, I got up Saturday morning, opened my fridge, and thought of y'all. I have been giving some brain space to the Inner Lizard (but not particularly on Saturday morning) when I opened the fridge to get milk for my coffee (so you KNOW I wasn't fully awake OR functioning at my peak) and the picture on the left is what I saw.

Now -- lest you think someone was playing a crazy prank on me ... let me properly introduce you to my Fridge Lizard. A few years ago (and by a few I might mean closer to 10), I bought a BRAND NEW refrigerator. Some weeks later, my whole family was over for a birthday party and my sister brought the fridge lizard as a gift. (I don't really know why a lizard -- who can really fathom the thought processes of that dear brain) -- Anyway, after showing him to me -- she put him in the fridge and that was that. He has been in my fridge every since. Even when I moved, he moved too (traded in the white and up to stainless!)

I see him everyday. He is always in there. The kids don't bother him or take him out or play with him or hide him anywhere in or out of the fridge. When I notice him, he makes me think of my sister and that makes me smile. But I don't always notice him -- he has just been waiting there ready to be notice when I have taken the time to learn something that makes me look at him in a different light --like Saturday morning.

Now, that's one lizard but....then....I went into my closet while I was waiting for the coffee maker to do its magic and what else did I find??? My fav hat was sitting on the shelves -- just where I left it -- to be put on at a moments notice to cover really bad hair when I take the kids to the bus stop in the morning. I love this hat! It is my almost constant summer companion.



After noticing the fridge lizard and thinking how ironic it is that I have one (considering the posts I have been writing), the hat was another little revelation. I am surrounded by lizards. And I was so much quicker to pick up on the second one once I had made the connection of the first. I wasn't trying to think about them -- I wasn't writing a post in my head (like I sometimes do). The first one was just there and the second one recognized even quicker.

Keep your mind open and sometimes things that have been sitting right in front of you jump into clarity when you aren't even looking for them. Sometimes you need to learn a new way of thinking about something and then the next step seems obvious.

Just read another manifesto from Seth Godin...

It is called Brainwashed. He goes off on a number of things, so if you are interested in a good rant today, click on over :)

The point I want to make is to highlight his steps for reinventing oneself:

Here are seven levers available for anyone (like you) in search of reinvention:
1. Connect
2. Be generous
3. Make art
4. Acknowledge the lizard
5. Ship
6. Fail
7. Learn

Some of them are pretty straight forward. Connect -- as in with people but also with yourself.

Be generous. It is very difficult to be generous and judgmental at the same time.

Make art -- you should read his definition -- for me to get it right would mean pirating his whole page -- in essence, what you are creating within yourself as you become more mindful -- that is the art I am talking about. Something unique and all your own.

Acknowledge the lizard -- as in the lizard brain. We all deal with fear every day. How we handle that fear makes all the difference -- do you know what you are afraid of???

Ship -- this is the one he gets me with all the time. Shipping is making something happen. Turning out a product -- everyday. (You are the product we are talking about here)

Fail -- it is going to happen -- you will not perform some days like you think you should. If you are not failing, you are living in the very center of your comfort zone and there is very little personal growth happening. Don't be afraid to fail.

Learn -- about yourself, about then environment that effects you, about the people around you. Make a point to learn something everyday. In almost every session with a client, I ask them what they have learned about themselves this week. In every journal entry there is a spot to write down what you have learned about yourself today. Give it some thought -- what are you going to learn today?

All 7 don't need to be done in one day -- just give it some thought and see if any of them apply to you.

Mindfulness is...

Deliberately paying attention, without judgment, to one's own experiences.

Mindful eating is like driving a car. As you drive, you are checking the speedometer (at least once in a while) -- sometimes without consciously having to remind yourself. When the speed creeps up, you slow the car just a little bit. If you notice that you are passing everyone on the road, you might check the speedo to see if they are really slow or you are going fast.

In most cases, this all happens without your inner Lizard kicking up telling you how bad of a person you are -- you just make adjustments to your speed and move on.

Eating can be the same way. Check your stomach gauge (rated on the hunger/fullness scale) once in a while as you eat. Sometimes the h/f gauge creeps up -- when that happens, you can make the minor adjustment to your eating right then. If you notice you plate is getting clean quicker than everyone elses -- you might decide to slow down a bit. No judgment. Small adjustments. No inner Lizard commenting on what this says about your success (or from Lizzie -- failure) as a person!

Preachy

Your Super-Fan

I just read an blog post on how to create a popular blog.  The short answer is write the kind of blog that makes you popular.  Hmmmm, clear as mud, right?  The author talks about which attributes make certain people popular (blogs not withstanding) and the attribute that struck me most was:

People who are popular converse with others -- they don't preach at others. 

Now you might be thinking I am getting ready to launch into a dissection of this blog but...that isn't where I'm headed today.  I'd like to get back to the preachy part.

How much time each day do you spend preachin' at yourself about food, your weight, how much you aren't exercising but should be ???

I know when I get on a jag with myself, it doesn't make me feel better -- it actually makes me feel more hopeless about whatever the situation is.  If the preachy voice inside your head was another person, would you choose to spend your precious time with them?  Or would they be someone you dread seeing -- always sniping about your outfit, you food choices, and your under-used gym membership?

How would your life change if you jettisoned the dead weight of your nagging Lizard and activity started giving yourself compliments, kudos, and the occasional pep-talk for your eating choices?  What if you changed the Lizard voice into your own personal Super-Fan?  Would you be more likely to make more positive choices for yourself if you had a cheering section urging you on?

Don't try...Do

The Black Hole of Trying - Proposal #1
Stop trying!

I’m serious. Right now. Trying is getting you nowhere.

Every attempt is a failure, because trying never leads to completion. Only doing creates accomplishment. If we want to change ourselves, our work, or the world we live in, we must focus on doing rather than trying.

The only thing that keeps us from doing is our fear that we will fail. We surround this fear with all manner of stories: nobody will like us, we will be laughed at, it’ll never work anyway, so why bother? The list of excuses is long. When we dig past all of these fictions, what it boils down to is this: if we do, we might fail. So instead we try.

So... how do ya like them apples???

Doing puts a lot of pressure on us!! But, maybe that pressure is good. Maybe that pressure will push us to do difficult things -- and succeed. Doing will definitely make us start and if we fail, start again.

The art of trying involved lots of prep. Getting the right food, equipment, plan, support group, the right outfit, books, picking the perfect time to start... and the list goes on and on. It requires the perfect alignment of the planets to try....and then keep trying...

Now -- those of you who know me, know I am a planner. The plan doesn't always need to go the direction I have planned out (I can revise on the fly) but I do like a plan. But, I have read a couple things lately that have talked about the need to just JUMP IN! Start doing! Right now. Doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to start.

This has been a hard couple months of practice for me. To start doing really means committing -- lots of messiness of half finished projects. Stuff that doesn't look perfect -- which means that I am not perfect (GASP! The secret is out!!)

Take, for example, this blog. This is a pet project of mine. I love working with people to show them they have options. I love to be able to connect people with ideas that assist them in getting to where they want to go. But, man! Putting those ideas down in written word -- so the whole world (almost literally) has access to data that shows I am a terrible speller, that sometimes I get on a jag and lose my train of thought, that sometimes I will be firmly committed to an idea and then something will come along to get me to change my mind (oiy! the shame in seeming weak minded!)

But the blog was necessary. I can't convey what Eating Coach really is unless you understand it from your perspective. EC is not a program for you until you put in your two cents. To educate you about mindful eating (so you could form your own opinion) I had to start communication with you -- every day -- so you could hear my words (the good, the bad, and the ugly). I had to run the risk of failing (no body reading the blog or maybe worse yet people reading and thinking I am stupid).

As it has turned out, the blog has been a good thing and there have been days that I have posted a terribly written post and someone still lets me know they have connected with it.

If I wait for the perfect post to come to me -- you all would be down to one a year (if that many). If you wait until for perfect conditions to start eating mindfully(the right amount of brain space, the lull between New Years and Summer vacation, the deadline for your 20,30, or 40th class reunion) you will never do -- you will just continue to try.

And although trying feels much safer (because you can always tell people "I am trying!") you never get to the completion because you are not doing.

Your doing doesn't have to be pretty -- I am playing golf and I will tell you, the rounds have not been pretty. But I am playing and learning golf -- not trying to learn golf. I at working as an Eating Coach and sometimes I am so spot on with the Universe that everything seems to flow. And other times, a session will be ugly start to finish. But, honestly, there is value in all the doing. From each session I rehash in my head to figure out why I wasn't able to help the client as smoothly as I would like -- I find new words to use/ a new metaphor (like the inner lizard or the lizard brain) that the client connects with.

Your mindful eating is the same way. It is not the end-all, be-all of the Universe. It is another way you can starting doing. Another direction to head. Another journey you can start right now -- this minute. Just by asking, "Am I hungry right now?" or "What do I really want to eat for lunch today?" or "Oh my gosh! I see the donut being brought to my mouth by a hand that looks remarkably like mine -- do I really want a bite of this? Do I want to eat the whole thing? Should I just wrap it in a napkin right now and throw it in the trash?"

Do today.

Do something Friday

We have talked a lot about resistance and the Lizard brain. We all know what it is to feel paralyzed by the resistant voice in our head. But fear not! Below is the beautiful beginning of Steven Pressfield's blog about resistance. He is talking about creating art -- but think about the art as creating your best you.


I appologize for (and warn you in advance) the swearing in the upcoming paragraph -- I hope you can excuse the word choice, if it bothers you, and see through to the author's intent.

The Opposite of Resistance

Here’s a subtle but crucial point for us to hold in mind as we slog through the trench warfare of the artist’s journey, battling Resistance every step of the way.

Remember: Resistance arises second.

What comes first is the idea, the passion, the work we are so excited to create that it scares the shit out of us.

Resistance is the response of the frightened, petty, small-time ego to the brave, generous, magnificent impulse of the creative self. Resistance is the shadow cast by the innovative self’s sun.

What does this mean to us, as we duel our demons? It means that, before the dragon of Resistance reared its ugly head and breathed fire into our faces, there existed within us a force so potent and so life-affirming that it made Resistance freak out and load up the sulfur and brimstone. Resistance isn’t the towering, all-powerful monster before whom we quake in terror. Resistance is more like the pain-in-the-ass schoolteacher who won’t let us climb the tree in the playground.

But the urge to climb came first.

Maybe resistances is the signal you are on the right track -- maybe instead of denying or running from it, we should spend the weekend looking for it. What do you think???

Make your schedule ahead of time....

Seth Godin

Zig taught me this twenty years ago. Make your schedule before you start. Don't allow setbacks or blocks or anxiety to push you to say, "hey, maybe I should check my email for a while, or you know, I could use a nap." If you do that, the lizard brain is quickly trained to use that escape hatch again and again.

Excuses!

Here's a post I picked up from Zen Habits.  As you can see, it was a guest post at that site (a long and complicated track to get here!) but hopefully it will get you thinking about some of "reasoning" that has gotten you where your are (both the good parts of your life and the parts with room for improvement).

5 Excuses that Keep You Unhealthy (and How to Destroy Them)

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Matt Frazier of No Meat Athlete.

Each and every one of us, as a human being, is hardwired to choose the path of least resistance. We’re programmed to conserve energy for when we might need it and to avoid risk wherever possible, because that’s what it took for our ancestors to survive (and reproduce) in a world full of unknown dangers.

Today, it’s why the status quo — tested, predictable, familiar — is so comfortable. And it’s why we find change so difficult, even when our very lives depend on changing.

I’m referring, of course, to our health.

As Steven Pressfield and Seth Godin have so gracefully written, we procrastinate because somewhere deep down, we’re afraid to start. The resistance, or lizard brain, will fight tooth and nail to keep us right where we are. Because change is risky, and where we are is safe.

But when it comes to health, where we are isn’t safe. Known, sure. But not safe.

The excuses we use to justify one more pack of cigarettes, one more TV show, or another quick spin through the drive-through window (it’s convenient, and I had a rough day) are the tools of this fear. What we say to distract ourselves, to make it feel alright for now, is nothing more than a smokescreen.

It’s time to cut through the haze. What follows is a list of five of the most common, most debilitating excuses and fears that keep people unhealthy and powerless to change. Find the one that’s holding you back, and see it for the sham that it is.

1. “Before I can start, I’ve got to plan.”

Sure, planning is important. But right now, it’s just procrastination.

You know how it goes: “Before I start, I need to get workout clothes that fit. And shoes. And join a gym. And load some new songs on my iPod. Then I’ll get a meal plan and go shopping, and I’ll be ready to start!”
Maybe you do need all that stuff. But first, just start.

It’s easy: go outside and start walking or get on your bike. Go in one direction for just five minutes — fast when you want, slow when you want. Enjoy yourself — play — then turn around and come home. Do it again the next day, and the day after that, feeling free to gradually do more as your body allows you to.
Build some momentum by doing something small every day. Then, and only then, should you think about planning.

2. “I’m so out of shape, it’s overwhelming to think about getting healthy.”

Right now, don’t focus on getting in shape. The important thing is to take the first step.
Look at it as an experiment: commit to eating well or exercising for just one week, to see how it goes. Be curious and be playful, but really commit to it: set some ground rules, tell other people about it, and don’t cheat.

Forget any long-term health goals right now. Just take note of how you feel, paying particular attention to your mood and mindset — that’s where the changes will show up first.

When the time is up, congratulate yourself for sticking with it. If at this point you’re not excited to keep going, you can stop without feeling guilty and change your approach.

But maybe you feel lighter. More energetic. Happier. These incremental benefits are immediate, no matter how far away you are from whatever your ideal is.

So what would happen if you did this again for two weeks, or 30 days? Try it again, with the same strong commitment, and evaluate again when you reach the end.

The great thing about this approach is that it shifts the focus to the process, not the outcome, and at the same time prevents you from ever feeling like you’re locked into something that you don’t enjoy.

3. “I don’t know how to cook, nor do I have time for it.”

I believe you. You don’t have two hours each night to spend preparing a gourmet meal for your family, nor are you a master of matching flavors and textures to create beautiful, perfect dishes that are also healthy.
But I bet you can follow instructions. Find five minutes to search this site and others for simple recipes. Many won’t take you even half an hour to prepare.

Here are just a few examples of delicious, nutritious meals that don’t take much active time to make:

• Smoothies
• Beans and rice
• A grain, a green, and a bean
• Soup
• Slow cooker stews

Look at cooking as an opportunity to work with your hands and to be present in the moment, focusing on that one thing only.

Enjoy the smells, the textures, the process. The occasional Sunday when I spend three hours in the kitchen making pasta or vegetable lasagna from scratch is the most meditative time of my entire week.

4. “People will laugh at me when I exercise because I’m out of shape.”

A few might laugh. They’ll do so because of some insecurity of their own. But most people are so distracted and focused on their own lives that they won’t even notice you.
Of those who do pay attention to you, the vast majority will be inspired, and they will envy your determination. No joke.

Five-million-plus people watch The Biggest Loser each week. Are they doing it for laughs? No, they watch because it motivates them, even if they never take action.

When people see you working hard to get in shape, it reminds them that somewhere, they’ve got that fight in them too. Without realizing it, even if you’re doing this only for yourself, you become a leader by example. People are drawn to that.

I know, it feels like everyone’s watching you, judging you. But trust me: inside, they’re cheering for you.

5. “I’d like to exercise with a group or class, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up.”

The quickest way to get better at something is to hang around people who are getting the results that you want. (You’ve heard it before, right? If you want to know your weight, add up your five closest friends’ weights, divide by five, and you probably won’t be far off.)

But with groups comes the fear of being “the weak one.” The one who can’t keep up, the one holding everyone else back. Most of us have been there at some time, and it’s no fun.

So how do you get past this fear?

Accept it and face it. Let the group know, beforehand, that you think you might have trouble keeping up. Tell them that if they need to go ahead, you won’t be offended, you’re just thrilled to work out with them and learn from them.

With that, it’s out in the open, no longer something to be ashamed of. Gone are the pain and potential injury of pushing yourself too hard in attempt to avoid embarrassment. And it probably won’t be long until you’re helping someone else who is new and afraid.

Go

The time to take that first step is today. If a flaw in your excuse has been exposed, take advantage of it now, before your fear can come up with a better one.

Getting yourself to start is the hardest part. As you begin to experience results and your new habits are reinforced, it becomes easy. You’ll discover that the more energy you use, the more you have, and being healthy is actually really fun.

Sure, it’s possible that you’ll stumble at first. Getting in shape isn’t as easy as watching TV, or eating whatever you want. But that’s okay.

The trick isn’t to never fall down, it’s to never stay down. When you mess up, use it as an opportunity to adapt and improve, not as a reason to quit.

And when the excuses crop up, step back, smile to yourself, and see them for what they are — a last-ditch effort by the old you, the comfortable, change-fearing you, to go back to the way things used to be.
Stop believing your excuses. Start.

Matt Frazier helps people discover their inner athlete and the simplicity of a plant-based diet. Get fitness tips and healthy recipes at his blog, No Meat Athlete, or sign up for his free series on getting started with plant-based fitness.

Posted: 03.06.2012 

Words of Wisdoms from Seth Godin....

Seth Godin published an alphabet word list and I love! G.  Go go go.  He defines it as:

G is for Go go go™: I just trademarked this one, but you have my permission to use it all you like. Go go go is the mantra of someone who has committed to defeating their anxiety and ignoring their lizard brain. Not a good strategy for airline pilots, but for the rest of us, a little Go go go might be just the ticket.

So....are you ready to Go today?