Don't try...Do

The Black Hole of Trying - Proposal #1
Stop trying!

I’m serious. Right now. Trying is getting you nowhere.

Every attempt is a failure, because trying never leads to completion. Only doing creates accomplishment. If we want to change ourselves, our work, or the world we live in, we must focus on doing rather than trying.

The only thing that keeps us from doing is our fear that we will fail. We surround this fear with all manner of stories: nobody will like us, we will be laughed at, it’ll never work anyway, so why bother? The list of excuses is long. When we dig past all of these fictions, what it boils down to is this: if we do, we might fail. So instead we try.

So... how do ya like them apples???

Doing puts a lot of pressure on us!! But, maybe that pressure is good. Maybe that pressure will push us to do difficult things -- and succeed. Doing will definitely make us start and if we fail, start again.

The art of trying involved lots of prep. Getting the right food, equipment, plan, support group, the right outfit, books, picking the perfect time to start... and the list goes on and on. It requires the perfect alignment of the planets to try....and then keep trying...

Now -- those of you who know me, know I am a planner. The plan doesn't always need to go the direction I have planned out (I can revise on the fly) but I do like a plan. But, I have read a couple things lately that have talked about the need to just JUMP IN! Start doing! Right now. Doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to start.

This has been a hard couple months of practice for me. To start doing really means committing -- lots of messiness of half finished projects. Stuff that doesn't look perfect -- which means that I am not perfect (GASP! The secret is out!!)

Take, for example, this blog. This is a pet project of mine. I love working with people to show them they have options. I love to be able to connect people with ideas that assist them in getting to where they want to go. But, man! Putting those ideas down in written word -- so the whole world (almost literally) has access to data that shows I am a terrible speller, that sometimes I get on a jag and lose my train of thought, that sometimes I will be firmly committed to an idea and then something will come along to get me to change my mind (oiy! the shame in seeming weak minded!)

But the blog was necessary. I can't convey what Eating Coach really is unless you understand it from your perspective. EC is not a program for you until you put in your two cents. To educate you about mindful eating (so you could form your own opinion) I had to start communication with you -- every day -- so you could hear my words (the good, the bad, and the ugly). I had to run the risk of failing (no body reading the blog or maybe worse yet people reading and thinking I am stupid).

As it has turned out, the blog has been a good thing and there have been days that I have posted a terribly written post and someone still lets me know they have connected with it.

If I wait for the perfect post to come to me -- you all would be down to one a year (if that many). If you wait until for perfect conditions to start eating mindfully(the right amount of brain space, the lull between New Years and Summer vacation, the deadline for your 20,30, or 40th class reunion) you will never do -- you will just continue to try.

And although trying feels much safer (because you can always tell people "I am trying!") you never get to the completion because you are not doing.

Your doing doesn't have to be pretty -- I am playing golf and I will tell you, the rounds have not been pretty. But I am playing and learning golf -- not trying to learn golf. I at working as an Eating Coach and sometimes I am so spot on with the Universe that everything seems to flow. And other times, a session will be ugly start to finish. But, honestly, there is value in all the doing. From each session I rehash in my head to figure out why I wasn't able to help the client as smoothly as I would like -- I find new words to use/ a new metaphor (like the inner lizard or the lizard brain) that the client connects with.

Your mindful eating is the same way. It is not the end-all, be-all of the Universe. It is another way you can starting doing. Another direction to head. Another journey you can start right now -- this minute. Just by asking, "Am I hungry right now?" or "What do I really want to eat for lunch today?" or "Oh my gosh! I see the donut being brought to my mouth by a hand that looks remarkably like mine -- do I really want a bite of this? Do I want to eat the whole thing? Should I just wrap it in a napkin right now and throw it in the trash?"

Do today.