How much of your "fun" eating is based on merit? On the thought that you "deserve" it? Why is it a question of deserve? Why do you try to justify your food choices? Who are you justifying them to?
When I talk to clients, there is a big hurdle for them to get over -- if they want to become successful with eating more mindfully. That hurdle is JUDGEMENT.
Why is cake a "bad" food? Why is spinach is "good" food?
Do you know the micro nutrients of both? Or did someone once tell you that spinach was good for you and cake is bad?
Do you deserve to eat a whole cake? Probably not anymore than you deserve to eat a whole bowl of spinach. Food can be a treat -- something wonderful just because and for no particular reason.
But food shouldn't be a reward for doing something else. I worked out for 30 minutes on the treadmill -- I can have dessert tonight!!??? Shouldn't working out be it's own reward? Shouldn't savoring a dessert be it's own reward?
If you are gaining weight -- from a strictly biological standpoint -- you are eating too much. You are taking in more calories than you are expending. There is no judgment here -- these are just the facts. It is not a matter of you deserving to eat more. You can continue to eat like you do -- there is nothing wrong with it (again -- no judgment) but you will continue to gain weight. You can eat less than you do (and you will lose weight) but it won't make you deserve anything more. It will just get you to the weight you want to be.
Eating isn't about justice -- some people can eat more than others and still maintain a health weight. If you can't eat that much -- it isn't a comment on you -- it just is your reality. You need to find a way to make it work for you.
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